All we do is argue and the dad wont leave.

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  • #32410 Report

    Jadakras92
    Participant

    I cant stand it anymore.. just want to be happy.. whenever we argue we say we dont want to be together anymore and then we think about it and think it would be easier if we just got a long for our son. My sons dad has aspergers. So it is very hard living with him and dealing with what that brings sometimes.. I feel so bad for our son because it really affects him with we shout at each other..  i have no where to go.. we rent a house together and he has no where to go either.. but because of his aspergers I feel like I have to make the first move and find somewhere else to live with our son because he doesnt take our son to school and pick him up.. nor do anything else for him.. except feed him and play with him. I just dont know what to do as I feel like I am on my own.. just wondering if anyone else has been in the same situation as I have?

    #32419 Report

    Jadakras92
    Participant

    That’s very kind of you.. where abouts do you live?

    #32462 Report

    Hi all

    This morning I have removed a post on this thread that was made here yesterday. We advise all participants to take some time to get to know each other before making arrangements to meet. I am including some guidance for you which should support you all with this.  Please take some time to read through.

    Kind regards, Justine

    #33732 Report

    James34
    Participant

    Hi all. This sounds like my life. But its the other way around its the wife who wont leave even tho everytime we argue or she has a drink which turns into an argument she threatens me with a divorce.

    Im depressed and feel crap all the time and i think its due to the wife. Ive been feeling this way for a few years but never acted upon it as i dont want to upset the kids or for them to resent me. Hence why im still here and still married.

    She is constantly saying abuse things to me but says she only messing and playing and doesnt mean it.she even does it while were out shopping and in a shop full of people. ?i have asked her to stop mutliple times but she still carries on and doesnt listen to me.

    I dont know what to do anymore as i have 3 children of which i adore deeply like any other parent would do with their children.

     

     

    #33849 Report

    Zaki
    Participant

    Jadakras and James, my situation is similar to you both, he has an unhealthy mental wellbeing sometimes and I was constantly on egg shells making sure the kids were aware of HIS moods and depressive stages, making sure routine was on point for HIM and food was constantly made to suit HIS taste. He made me feel like crap if something wasn’t quite right or  I’d appear tired..god forbid me asking for his help as he would just scoff and say that  I shouldn’t have had the children.

    He regretted coming to this county for me, regretted our marriage, regretted our children and I silently took the blame for everything without arguing back in case he got aggressive or depressed.

    I didn’t want to upset anyone or “rock the boat” because it would affect a lot of people …but after 14 years or marriage, 11 of those very unhappy, I thought to myself and accepted that I can’t please everyone. The quietest voice was THE strongest and he knew that whenever I said anything- I meant it… I am actively making the little moves in the background to make sure me and my children are sorted and happy. Since I told him I want to separate, he has done jobs around the house from 3 years ago, learnt how to put the laundry on, cleans up more, washes up, cuddles the children (oh dear!) and asked me how to make pancakes for our youngest… I’m done, it’s  too late.

    there is a lot of strength in patience. I had nothing while my children weren’t in school as I stayed at home with them on benefits, I began working odd jobs and flitted to one then another but now I built myself to have a consistent job in a school so I have the good hours and  holidays off.

    I live hand to mouth off my wage and little benefits, he just pays rent but somehow I feel lighter and empowered to move on because I am solution-focused and not just dreaming…I’m going for it. I want my happiness even if I have to create my world over again, at least it is MY world of happiness with my babies.

    James and Jakarta’s, keep a paper trail or everything and back it up with evidence that is reliable such as doctors notes, pictorial evidence or reliable people written accounts which can help in courts. Children are not daft, they know what is going on and resilient so will bounce back if relationships and lines of communication are left open.

     

    Not to sound corny(ier) but listen to Katy Perry’s ROAR especially one with sign language…

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