Hi, ive just joined this group as having some issues with my little ones – they have not seen their dad for a long time (he’s not allowed to see them due to abuse) they have been through therapy and I’m going to try to get them booked in for further therapy but I think basically they are angry. Especially my boy. Yesterday I took them to a kids party and as soon as he’d had enough he started throwing shoes, pushing toys of edges until all I could do was take him home. Disappointing for my little girl who was enjoying herself. This morning he threw a smashed a mug over something completely trivial and then repeatedly said he hated me. They were both asleep by 8.30 last night and slept til 6.30. I understand the anger and confusion they must be going through but also need to let them know that he can’t behave like this. It makes me sad when like at the party lots of dads are there perhaps this sparks feelings of anger more so. My little girl didn’t seem bothered though. I asked my little boy to talk to me this morning and he just ignored me. If anyone can share any tips of how they have handled a similar situation?
There is a phone line charity called Family Lives that may be able to offer more advice. Reassurance and increasing childs sense of security , and increasing parental presence helps. Need to keep calm and reassure you love and are there for him. Not easy.Some areas of UK have programmes for child to parent violence if it gets worse, though most do not. This is a lot more common than you think, and if it applies to you, know you are not alone. There has been a recent report to parliament to highlight this, and a response from the home office, but support is thin on the ground. There are also some facebook sites that you might find worth looking at. The connective parenting site is based around NVR. Hope this helps either you or someone else reading this. You are not alone!
He may be acting out as he’s still too young to process his feelings. You can ask school if they have an ELSA programme which may help him. What you said about the dad’s at the party may be relevant. I remember both of my boys acting out after school and it took some investigation and found out they had been making fathers day cards. It happens every year.
Did they witness abuse? As again, he may be acting out what he’s seen as a way to process it