Age of children vs time with dad

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  • #18813 Report


    Hi can anyone help? I’ve recently separated after a 12 year relationship, he was very manipulative, controlling and in my eyes a compulsive liar. He was abusive which also come out in our children’s behaviour.

    He left whilst our 3rd children was just weeks old. Whilst he sees all the children he demands more time. I have gradually built this up but he doesn’t like it and won’t see it in the child’s best interest.


    Has as anyone ever been to court over child contact with a child under 1 year? I was wondering what the likely contact time would be?

    #18817 Report


    The older two are 4 years and just under 2. He has the 4 year old two nights every other weekend and the other child one night. Although we are looking into this changing to two nights also.

    He sees all the children mid week which is so distruptive and causes more problems for bed time etc

    whikst he was about when baby was first born for a few weeks he didn’t ply an active part mainly having the older two and returning to work when baby was two weeks old.

    Would a court look at school and police reports and statements of his behaviour? It has been classed as domestic violence and actually the school wanted to safe house us at one stage?

    #19705 Report


    Sorry thought I had replied….

    school reports reflected inappropriate violent behaviour and social services were involved. I’m not going to list the whole scanario on here….

    being bullied and intimidated by him I felt I had no choice but to allow overnight contact but felt happier when it was at his parents house as well. And yes contact is away from the home which he doesn’t like, he has had two boys here when we had an emergency as the eldest was taken into hospital

    I’ve done the whole 3rd party handover and public place but he always changes the plans and has been caught out with his behaviour when he didn’t know I had someone else here.

    Ive now taken legal advice regarding the baby looks like under 1s don’t normally get an order for overnight but when overnights happen it’s only for one night and only if the child is happy. I know all children need to see their dad but it’s about doing it gradually and with the children’s best interests at heart always

    #19712 Report


    Sorry what do you mean closer to two?

    well he didn’t even feed baby on Christmas Day….he was too busy…..thankfully he didn’t have the children for long!

    #19725 Report

    Hi Sunnylane.

    Its Justine the moderator here.  Thank you for sharing your experience with the forum.  It is a useful way to make contact and seek information from other parents and I hope this is of use to you.  I will be sending you a private message with some further signposting options.

    Best wishes


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