Advice regarding child not wanting to come home

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  • #58793 Report


    Good Morning, I am a single mum with full parent guardian. Myself and my ex have agreed to for him to have our 2 children 2 nights a week, but mostly every other weekend. For the 2 months or so, my 14 yr old don’t seemed to want to come back to me. Hes always using excuses why he cant come  home. Now its getting to the point where its really upsetting me. I have tried to explained this to him and his father.

    His father was a controlling, and abusive partner towards me and my eldest son.

    He says his dad is not controlling him to stay there, but every time i ask him to come home he’s always making excuses why he can’t. Like he has promised his dad to help do something.  I have asked if he wants to live with his dad, and he says no. His dad has now stopped paying child maintenance for him. Which i never knew about.

    Any ideas of what i can do about this?

    #58823 Report


    Hi Gazzle007 – love your name!

    sorry to hear you are going through this.. it’s totally understandable it would be very upsetting!

    to be honest, it does sound like perhaps your son is being pressured. people who are abusive especially if he has also been abusive to your eldest son rarely change, especially without intervention or support to understand their behaviour which can take some time.

    were you able to get support to leave the relationship? – he doesn’t actually have any rights to see the kids, especially if abuse was present; you have a legal right to say no, he would have to apply for visitation via a court; who would take the abuse seriously, particularly as he has been abusive to your eldest son.

    Might be worth contacting the gingerbread helpline &/ the NSPCC who may be able to intervene as it seems he could be continuing to be abusive.

    love & luck to you


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