Advice – recently separated try to arrange visitation.

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  • #59134 Report

    MabelRebecca
    Participant

    Hello,

    Wondering if any advice for my situation as not a clue what to do.

    I have 3 year old daughter and had been in a relationship with her dad on and off for 3 years – he disappeared when I pregnant said he wasn’t interested and then came back for birth and we made it work up until 1 month ago. Since he left he hasn’t made any contact with our daughter, has cancelled 2 arranged days to have her and has had no interest in her at all. He has moved 2 hours away and has two other children from a previous marriage where he now lives – he is wanting to have our daughter every other weekend the same weekend he has his sons – however he has a very little patience, quite a temper and suffers badly with depression, hasn’t spent anytime longer than a few hours with our daughter and I feel she wouldn’t be properly cared for when with him.

    I have said he needs to start off maybe 1 day a week with just our daughter and build up to a weekend. However he is saying he doesn’t want to sacrifice all his weekends to looking after his children. So now I am being painted as the bad person denying access to his daughter which isn’t the case – I would just feel better if it was 1 day a week until I could see she was okay with him.

    Is this out of order for me to ask this? I would just like something in place to say he has to see her for more than 2 days a month and that he has to be consistent and keep in touch with her as I think it’s unfair for him to just dip in and out of her life. How would I go about this?

    #59171 Report

    steve3334
    Participant

    hi,

    I think it’s sensible to let the contact build up gradually. the courts order this kind of thing too. but as he lives 2 hours away, then there would be not much point in him taking child back to his place for the day. perhaps he can stay in the local area, but he will probably disagree with that. or what if you proposed 1 night to start off with?

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