Advice please on maintenance

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This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  SOLOMUMMY 5 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #24510 Report


    Hi all

    I’m at my wits end and hoping for some support/suggestions.

    We have a ‘shared care’ order. Basically my ex took me to court every couple of years with the intent of gaining 50/50 so he doesn’t have to pay maintenance. I’m not bitter, I have the messages saved! I haven’t had maintenance for a long time.

    Anyway I’m fine with that overnight arrangement as long as my son is happy.

    But…… I’m getting to the point where as son gets older it’s just so expensive! I ask his dad to pay for half of essentials – school uniform, trips, passport. But he ignores me. The only thing he has ever paid for is half of his leavers prom…. I didn’t ask him to as it’s hardly an essential.

    Although he has half of the nights, I do everything else. During school holidays he will have him overnight – pick up at 5:45 and drop off at 8:15 the following morning.  I take him to doctor, dentist, he has never even been to a parents evening.

    How do CMS view day to day care? It’s easy and cheap caring for a child overnight – they’re asleep!

    Thanks in advance x




    • This topic was modified 5 months, 2 weeks ago by  Amylou75.
    #24522 Report


    If you have absolutely fifty fifty overnight care then no you have no claim.

    Do you claim child benefit and tax credits or UC?

    Does this court order specify the days to be shared or indeed the timings? If not then the way firwfor would be that you make his contact mean he’s responsible  for getting to and from school and responsibility for providing childcare during his share of school holiday. So that he’s actually responsible for more. Likewise if he has him for three school days then he needs three school uniforms etc.

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