Advice please

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  • This topic has 11 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 3 years ago by saffron1.
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  • #17657 Report


    Hi i am a single mum to my seven year old daughter. My daughter has attachment disorder and is now awaiting autism assessment and she also has memory impairment which affects her learning, short term memory relay and following instructions etc which then obviously results in behavioural difficulties as a way of expressing her frustrations.

    I work full time. Well say full time that is a joke. I am salaried. Work 9-5 office based. But also have on call. When the working day is done I have on call which is a 24 hour service. I haven’t been in this position long but left a previous one as the on call demands were too much..this one is even heavier! Every other week I work 9-5 office. No scheduled breaks. On call every night then all weekend. Following week office hours plus 3/4 eves on call too. Which means one week I effectively work way over 100 hours a week because I’m “salaried” and ps I do not earn a load. It would be manageable if I had support at home but I obviously don’t. My stress is I feel massively bad on my child, shes at school club every night til half five then every evening she doesnt have attention because i have to work on call at home and every other weekend. I feel massively guilty. I feel im missing her child hood and she needs more input and attentiin than her peers because of her conditions and her needs. But i dont give it to her. Im also tryinv to twach her you cant have anything without earning and u have to work to earn koney and live.but I also am scared of not working and not building a career. I’m mid 30s rent a property, my ex made me bankrupt so I don’t have a chance in hell getting credit for anything. So everything is cash. I do not have a penny savings. Me and my daughter live month to month on my wages. Which sees us through with good budgeting skills.

    My question is…. if I quit work because I can’t meet child care needs working slave hours weekly will I be entitled to benefits or sanctioned for leaving a job then I’m in even more hot water. All I want is a month or two off to recuperate , give my daughter the attention she needs whilst finding something part time I can gradually build up and work my way up in?

    I can’t even take a day off to go to citizens advice let alone a hospital apt I have in two weeks as I need two days off over Xmas due to child care which I haven’t even approached about yet……

    #17658 Report


    Have you read the section

    I would suggest you need to speak to your employers, also recommend you looking into the working time directive, as I am sure they are in breach of this. You should speak to citizen advice regarding this.

    You can ask your employer for more flexible working, they have a right to say no, but if they are asking to be on call, next stage is to insist you are not able, they may get rid of you, but you didn’t leave the job.

    I am sorry, why cant you take time off, you are entitled to unpaid parental leave, or you your holiday.

    If your employer are being as bad as you say, you definitely need some legal advice.

    #17659 Report


    I’ve only been at this new one a little while but it’s even heavier. I should’ve known better it’s nature of the job and I have no experience in anything else.

    Citizens advice is open office hours I have emailed them to see if they can help me that way.

    It makes me feel very trapped.

    I need to work less. I know the working time directive which I haven’t even signed. Not even a contract as of yet. But i know what these places Do. If you don’t do what they require life is made even more difficult. I am absolutely burnt out and feel so guilty toward my daughter.


    Thanks for your reply I really appreciate the input x

    #17662 Report


    I totally get you,

    When me a my partner broke up (not my boys mum) in June, I had no choice other than to give up, Honestly for us it was the best thing, as I needed to be there for my boy.

    I am hoping to get back to work, but I am not willing to put my boy in hours of clubs, so I can earn a little extra money.

    I really hope you get it sorted.


    #17669 Report


    I know it’s so difficult. See I have to constantly every day use out of hours clubs. Makes me feel so bad when she needs me so much. Did u get accepted for jsa  when u gave up?

    #17706 Report



    There are job center advisors on closed groups on Facebook that could give you private advice to give you an idea of your outcome!

    Look into your area , is it universal credit?

    Book an appointment at citizen advise or just call them and they will research your circumstances . Good luck

    #17712 Report


    Thank you all.

    Health care funnily enough but office based with on call…. would I definitely be sanctioned if the reason would be because of child care with my daughter I literally cannot do it!


    Thanks for all your advice xxxx


    #17740 Report


    I was not sanction, but I had a break up with my partner,  my son had been a looked after child and only came to live with me from November, as it was the beginning of summer holidays, and because my son is under 5 they actually cant force you to work.

    #17741 Report


    I should add you have a responsibility for your daughter, and you and only you will know, if that means working less. Do not feel forced or feel guilty not working so much, as you only have one chance to be the best parent you can be.

    I have always struggled with CAB myself, to ever get an appointment, or to speak to on the phone, but you definitely need advice on your employers, bacuse it sounds to me you may have good reason to walk away, as sounds to me they are breaking the law on many area.

    the compromise yet very difficult is to find a job with less hours. If you find one that fits around school hours please please let me know too.

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