Advice please

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  • #60080 Report


    I posted on here a few months ago but didn’t get a response to my question.

    A bit of background, I’m 32 and was seeing a guy for a few months when we fell pregnant – complete surprise. I broke the news to him and at first he was over the moon but then he told me that he was actually engaged to someone else and couldn’t be with me. I was heartbroken and completed caught off guard.

    I have my own home on a mortgage, my own car and a good career but have nothing in the way of savings. I am entitled to 16 weeks full pay maternity, SMP for 20 weeks and then nothing for the last 3 months. I would like to take a year off as it’s my first baby and I’m unsure on how I can afford childcare right now.

    I am now 17 weeks pregnant and the communication with the father is terrible. One minute he agrees to give me some money towards items for the baby but when I purchased the buggy he then tried to emotionally blackmail me into seeing him before he would give me the money. I told him to stuff it. Obviously I don’t want a relationship with a man that lied to me from the beginning of our interaction.

    My original plan was to apply to CMS for a financial contribution but now I have found out that some of his ‘friends’ have told him the way to get around paying for the baby is to go self employed! He currently works in construction.

    im terrified about how I am supposed to look after the baby financially. I need to work full time to pay my mortgage/bills and debts plus general living for me and the baby but with the cost of childcare being £50 a day in my area I’m unsure how I can survive. I have done an online calculation and I am only entitled to £120 a month from the WTC.

    Any suggestions / advice welcome Please

    #60083 Report


    Hi.  I’m one of the moderators on the forum.  I think it would be useful for you to ring our helpline to talk through your entitlements.  The Gingerbread helpline is 0808 802 0925.  Opening hours Monday 10-6, Tuesday 10-4, Wednesday 10-1 and 5-7, Thursday 10-4, Friday 10-4.

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