advice please

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  • #31658 Report



    my husband left 2 yrs ago, didn’t want to see the children at 1st but then changed his mind, been going through court for 18 mnths as he is an abusive alcoholic, anyway the children have just started going to a contact centre for supervised visits I have  3 boys 14ys 7yrs and 6yrs the 14 and 7 are autistic my 7 year old severely and in the court order it states he doesn’t have to go until he’s ready, but since the contact has started my 7yr old has just become really challenging, I cant get him to school at the moment and everything is a struggle, he goes to a special needs school, I have an appointment with my GP tonight for him as I just don’t know whst else to do but im so worried it will open up a can of worms with the courts ect.. thinking I cant cope,

    #31672 Report


    Hi Meme,

    This kind of is normal of any kid during the early (first few years) stages of a separation regardless of situation and especially in situations of abuse or with where one parent has not seen the kids for a while and is attempting re-connection.  Try to think of it in those terms as opposed to the ASD.  Any kid will find that situation challenging, though with the additional complications of an ASD they may be finding disruption of routine etc and also trying to deal with many different emotions and figuring out how to express it difficult.  While you are facing a challenge, and clearly demonstrating acting in the interests of their welfare (the fact you’ve made provision for a special school, ensuring you go to GP if you feel the need to etc) I would not be overly concerned.  While it’s understandable you are concerned, and feeling anxious, try not to imagine situations that haven’t happened.  Deal with each as they come and play it with a straight bat.  You are doing well.

    I’m not sure there is much else you need to do right now as it sounds like you’ve done all you should.  The best thing you can do right now is cut yourself some slack and pat yourself on the back.  You are going through a difficult time and you just need to hang in there and keep doing what you’re doing which is focusing on the welfare of your children.

    #31677 Report


    thank you for your encouragement gp has referred him to try and help his anxiety x

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