Advice/opinion needed please!

Home Online forum Gingerbread Forum Advice/opinion needed please!

Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #15250 Report

    littlemonkey
    Participant

    So in short, my ex moved out in February after we tried to make our relationship work (me more so than him in the latter 18 months) He messed me about feelings wise at the start, but has since made it clear that there is no way back because he ‘can’t stand me’ and ‘likes nothing about me’ (harsh, especially as he was the one to have ‘relations’ with another woman during our relationship, amongst other things!!) Anyway, we have since forged a co-parenting relationship where he comes to the house a few times a week to do our child’s bedtime, as well as having them alternate weekends. We are civil/friendly and can have a decent conversation. My confusion comes from his desire to still have family holidays together… We’ve had two this year, and have just booked two more before the year is out (nothing expensive, just short breaks in the UK) On all occasions he has instigated the idea that we all go together, and always says how excited he is in the lead up. Both holidays this year have been enjoyable and nice.  Of course our child has loved having us both there as well. I am confused as to why someone who feels that much dislike towards me would want to holiday with me? It’s quite intense having longer periods of time together. Surely he’d prefer to have our child to himself for a holiday, and then take the hit that I’d then go away with them for a few days?! I know that that would be my preference if I had strong feelings of dislike towards him!! I am trying not to read anything into it as he clearly doesn’t want to be with me. Help!!

    #15256 Report

    tteok-bokki
    Participant

    that is a huge confusion. Tho if there is no relationship, then i also do not understand why to take holidays together. i understand if a child is small, or till 5 years old, i would not let my son to go alone with a relative.

    but it is up to you to say no and spend you time off as you want. no one can decide for you.

    #15265 Report

    littlemonkey
    Participant

    Our child is 3 1/2, so still young. He also suggests the odd ‘family’ day out too. Very confusing indeed!

    #15274 Report

    littlemonkey
    Participant

    Thank you Anonymous, you are right I know. Trouble is our child is excited for both holidays, and it would potentially be more confusing to change it now (she is very switched on!) However I think I’ll say no to any holidays after that because it’s not allowing me to move on. I know I am my own worst enemy by saying yes to going together ☹️

Viewing 4 posts - 1 through 4 (of 4 total)

Log in or register to reply to this thread

Log In Register