Advice on school holidays

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  • #51552 Report

    set82
    Participant

    Hi all. I am trying to arrange how my ex and I split care for our daughter Over school holidays.

    she currently lives with me and visits with her dad every other weekend. She does not want to stay with him for more than two nights at a time.

    my ex is self employed and in a bit of a financial mess, and is basically won’t plan ahead or commit to anything in advance. I however work full time and have to plan my annual leave over the year very carefully and way in advance. And of course school holidays book up way in advance too

     

    Does anyone have any advice on how to plan school Holidays like this? I’m basically a bit stuck! Any thoughts or experiences really welcome! (My daughter is 4.5 years old btw)

    thank you!

    #51553 Report

    warwickshire1
    Participant

    Most parents have children in blocks during holidays especially if they dont get on that well  i.e court order or want to keep handovers to a minimum

    If you get on with ex you are best off speaking to him to discuss either in person or via email perhaps 1 or 2 weeks before each set of holidays.

    It isnt easy working out school holidays especially if daughter cant stay with dad for more than 2 nights at a time

    #51748 Report

    kathmaria143
    Participant

    If u were to go to a mediator they will talk to you about having a parenting plan a timeshare. They will look at your work schedule, flexibility, holidays, and what happens if there is an emergency or a change in the arrangement.
    So if an emergency happens, the other parent can take over, or you and your ex-partner agreed approved child giver can look after the children. The mediator talks about consistency for the children. They advise to minimise the transition back and further is better, and as much consistency  – research shown more benefitable for children on a week to week basis.

    For example, if your partner can only offer to look after the children 2 nights per week. There is one suggestion, Tuesday, and Thursday night.
    However the better option would be two nights beside each other for example, Tuesday, Wednesday, (the same each day per week) So now thing I can see, you ex partner needs to encourage more consistency for the children’s sake, not what is easy for him. He needs to be more organised in his flexibility when to take the children.
    The school holiday, either your partner may need to arrange his work more organised, take holiday, they may need to spend time with your agreed other child givers, schools may offer holiday camps or activities to balance childcare, have a au pair for the holiday, live in child minder.You and your ex-partner need to have a serious talk about how to make the co-parenting schedule – timeshare work.Maybe if things do not go well, you go and speak to a mediator. They are neutral. They recommend a year proactive meeting to see how the coparenting plan is working out.

    Thanks Katherine

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