Advice on reasonable contact when the father lives in a different city

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This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  SOLOMUMMY 11 months ago.

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  • #16050 Report

    Alex_nevaeh
    Participant

    Hi,

    I have an 8 month old baby boy. I’m not with his dad. He’s never really bothered with our son from the pregnancy up until the last week. I live in London and he has recently moved to Manchester which is causing big issues! He claims I won’t let him see our son but truth be known I have absolutely no issues. I think my son is a little to young to spend nights away from me or am I being over protective? He wants to have our son for a whole week every 4 weeks but take him to Manchester. He’s never had our son for more than two hours. I think my baby is to young to be going away from me for a whole week every month. He doesn’t support him either. Last week he took our son on Wednesday and was refusing to give him back untill he had put something legally binding in place. He had my son for two nights and then I took him back on Friday and we had to get police involved ect. I have no idea what a reasonable contact agreement is especially as he lives miles away. Has anyone else been in this situation? I’m now scared if I take my son out he will just get out of he’s car and I won’t see my son again. I just don’t know what to do.

    #16057 Report

    SOLOMUMMY
    Participant

    Given that he took lo and didn’t return, you need to get a residency order stating lo lives with you that way the police get involved and he has to return lo.

    Until then refuse any contact or preferably offer contact in a supervised centre at his cost. This is the reasonable thing to do from a court perspective.

    Moving forward I think that contact will need discussing more fully. Given he’s relocated he cannot expect to have the same relationship he would have had in London. That’s the consequences of his choices.

    As a rule now lo is weaning he would be able to have lo for more hours building up to full day’s. So that by eighteen months ish you’re working towards overnights. These would then usuallubbe established around two.

    going via court would probably be better in your scenario for all of contact issues. That way the court decides what’s in your child’s best interests. As atm there will be a gulf between you both as parents.

    Does your ex have family lock to you? If so a court may do overnights at his grandparents for example. Building up to multiple overnights in Manchester further down the line.

    Does he pay maintenance? Be aware if paying via cms he can claim travel costs and it would be deducted from your award.

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