Advice on missing daughter

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  • #7398 Report


    Hi I was wondering if anyone can give me some advice. My fiance has a 9 year old daughter to his ex, she’s a very manipulative woman and for awhile she lets my fiance see his daughter and we kept her over night at weekends. Then she will stop contact all together this has been going on from my fiance daughter was born he gets to see her for a few months then she stops all contact again usually because she demands more money even tho he paid through the csa plus on top of that he bought all her clothes shoes etc. And if his ex ever needed money for food oil etc he would have have it to her. Last easter she demanded her child maintenance payment early as she was heading away for the weekend with her new partner who she has a very unstable relationship with. My partner told her the money was for his daughter not for her weekends away and he would not be giving her it early. We where talk g his daughter away this very weekend so she wouldn’t let us take her and trailed the young girl out of the car. The next thing wee knew the police had landed at our door and arrested my partner for allegedly assaulting his ex ( this has all been threw out as cctv showed nothing happened, tho police refused to charge her for getting him falsely arrested?) Now she has pulled the young girl out of school and has moved we don’t no where she is living or if she is still in the country. My partner was granted his parental responsibilities the last time he had to take her to court. So after this long story in really just looking any advice on the situation like where he stands, how can we find where she’s at as we need to serve her court papers? Can social services find her as they where involved with her after the whole false arrest situation? And what rights does my fiance actually Have?

    I am a separated mother myself and don’t understand how any mother would deprive their child of a loving father who would do anything for there child.

    Many thanks in advance

    #7417 Report

    Social services will be able to find her if they look hard enough.  Nobody with children can hide for long.

    Now, my comments are not going to go down well but please, bear with me.

    Why was the father not on the birth certificate and automatically have PR?  Why is mother suddenly stopping contact – what reasons is she giving?  Is the contact court ordered?  Have you witnessed her manipulations first hand or does all of this come via your partner?  For an assault to have taken place there doesn’t need to have been physical contact.

    I can’t imagine many women doing a runner with their kids just to annoy an ex who’s been having contact.  (Note: I’m not saying it never happens, just that I think it’s probably not that common).

    Ultimately you need the advice of a solicitor.  Your partner may well already have one for the PR hearing – they’ll know the circumstances of the case better than we can.

    #7452 Report


    No you are wrong if the parents are not married, the father goes nor have parental responsibility. It’s great that pr has now been granted.

    you can advise social care that the child is missing but are there formal contact agreement?

    I really wish you well.

    ps can people be less opinionated? The last post “my comments are not going to go down well”. You know that so why post them??????

    #7454 Report


    PR is allowed to any parent now they changed the rules so even if the father’ name isn’t on the birth certficate they still have the right how rubbish it is. The thing is that social services don’t do nothing they will just note it down and put it on the system. The police solictor have to be involved and it has to be taken to court. Social services have only power if the child is on a child protection and Its been through the court. I hope they find the child the thing that upsets me they always say in the best interest of the child but the child is 9 she can talk how she feels.

    #7455 Report


    No fathers have p r if they are registered or re registered on a birth certificate post 1/12/2003

    #7458 Report

    Hi Anonymous/Harddoneby.  I think the point of a forum is for people to get together to express opinions – definition “a meeting or medium where ideas and views on a particular issue can be exchanged.”

    Sometimes, people have differing opinions.  Doesn’t mean they are not entitled to express them.  In fact, I think it should be encouraged.  Imagine a world where you only spoke to people who agreed with you.  Gosh, what a monotonous place that would be!

    I do believe if you take the time to fact check you will indeed find that where two parents are named on the birth certificate after 1 December 2003 as the previous poster said, they will BOTH automatically have parental responsibility.

    Good day to you. 🙂


    #7460 Report


    Hi there and thanks for your ultimate words of wisdom.

    whilst I agree that people have differences of opinion there are appropriate ways to express them.

    please be careful who you direct your response to. Anon is a completely different person to anonymous/ Harddoneby!!!! Tut tut very annoying you got the wrong person.

    also sunshine 1977 states that even if the father is not named on certificate he has p r. He doesn’t

    #7461 Report

    My most humble apologies.  Anon you must yesterday have been Greengrass or something of the like.  I wonder who you will be tomorrow?

    Personally I would interpret Sunshine’s post as that the father has the right [to ask for PR] etc.  It’s all down to individual interpretation of course and we are shaped as people by that which we have experienced. 🙂

    #7463 Report


    Khaleesi1774 I’m so glad that I’ve found you to point out the errors of my ways.


    perhaps it would be better to pm me rather than continue your self opinionated comments over the forum .

    not classy


    #7464 Report

    Young man, I do not know what sort of a woman you take me for, what we me apparently being “not classy” and all, but I would never go private with someone who won’t even give me his name.  Heaven forbid! What an outrageous proposition!

    Lisa0708, I apologise for appearing to have your thread hijacked.  Hopefully we can get back to the very important topic in hand which is of course your concern.

    #7465 Report


     I agree this has been hijacked but then who started the comment about threads/comments.

    oh it was you, my lovely Khaleesi1974!!!

    i was being sarcastic about pm but then if you want to hey I’m up for it.

    male?? You sure??

    #7468 Report



    Sorry you and your partner have been through all this with his ex. There are many things you can do to find her. If you have a solicitor ask them to do a disclosure order for the whereabouts of the child, then a child arrangements order to ask for contact/joint custody. The court may ask you to do mediation but if the mediator can not find the mother they can sign him off by filling in a form saying that mediation is unsuitable in this case.  I would get into court as quickly as you can as ss or police wont be much help in my experience even if there are any safe guarding issues. Also look at the Cafcass website lots of advice on there including the Parenting Plan which the court also likes so i suggest him looking at that and anything else to show he is doing everything he can.

    Good luck. Hope everything works out for you


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