Advice on children’s surname

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    Any advice on my current situation would be great….

    I split from my 2 year old sons dad when he was 7 months. We have a pretty sound relationship, he pays the maintenance he can afford and has him every second weekend.

    However, I found out recently I am 12 weeks pregnant, as I said, we have a sound relationship, both have needs, and I could count on 1 hand the amount of times we have rekindled in the past 18 months! Sadly this doesn’t mean we are starting a relationship again.

    To the point… My son has his dad’s surname, at the time this felt right, as I didn’t think we would split, plus there’s an older sibling to my ex with the same surname.

    But now I’m going to have a second baby, do I have to also give the baby his surname? I find this pointless as we won’t be together, and it’s me doing 90% of all care giving/errands etc. I am wondering whether to change my sons name to mine, although I know my ex won’t agree. Do I need the stress?

    Its starting to bug me, because I know my ex will not help with new baby financially or in any other form. He’s not a bad person or dad but these are reasons we’re not together.

    Why should I hand new baby over signed, sealed and delivered. Iv done all the hard work, yet he gets the surname?

    Any advice would help, I don’t want any animosity for my children but 2 different surnames for them is silly.

    Its highly unlikely but has anyone been in a similar situation?


    #48874 Report


    I’ve not been in your situation.

    You can give your 2nd child a different surname if you want to. But if you have a sound relationship and he provides and sees you son, I don’t get why he wouldn’t for the second child?
    I see why you may want your second child to have your surname, but changing your sons name to suit you, will cause a lot of upset and potentially cause problems between you two and that would then put an unnecessary strain on your son and his dads relationship. I’m not actually sure you can do this without dads consent anyway , seeing as he plays an active role in your sons life


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