Advice on access and names

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  • #21210 Report

    single mum
    Participant

    Hi all

    New to this and wanted to hopefully get some advice. I am currently pregnant and whilst the baby was planned, my partner decided to end the relationship.

    He still very much wants to be part of the child’s life however what is the legal standpoint when it comes

    to access levels and naming? He seems to think he can have the child 50% of time and be involved in name!!

    i have to stress that whilst I do think it is important he has access o most certainly do not want him to have any input in its name nor do I want him to have her half the time. After all, he decided to give up on us!!

    We are not married.

     

    any advice pls?

    #21213 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    it is up to you how you register your child’s birth. You do not have to include your ex on the birth certificate. And you can chose the name. Your ex can apply to be added to the birth certificate later.

    in terms of access, it’s likely to be little and often to begin with. Maybe an hour every day or two, especially if you are breast feeding. Your ex will need to build up a relationship with your daughter before he could expect to look after his daughter over night.

     

    congratulations.

    #21214 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    Can you not find a name you both like?

    #21215 Report

    single mum
    Participant

    Thank you!

    so he has absolutely no rights on name? He seems to think he does….

    re. Birth certificate, do I not

    need his name to claim CSA and can he not contest it and get it changed at a later date? I don’t want him to not see baby – I just don’t want him to have input in names and take baby so often when he bailed on us so early on!!

     

    appreciate the above reply x

    #21216 Report

    single mum
    Participant

    And sadly no – before he ended it I was the one coming up with names, he was not interested.

     

    also – we come from different cultures and I think this will impact his opinion on name!!

     

    Before we split I was more than happy for baby to take his surname but now there is no chance!!

    #21219 Report

    single mum
    Participant

    Thanks. 100% he should be involved and the child should see its father, it’s more to know what legal requirements are re. Access and names.

     

     

    #21229 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    Hi singlemum, on CMs claim, no you do not need to include your ex on the birth certificate in order to make a claim.

    when you make a claim, you provide the father’s details and if he wants to contest the claim because he believes he isn’t the father, then he can request a dna test.

    but no, he has no rights over the name.

    if he wasn’t interested in the name before, why is he interested now? It sounds like he’s trying to control you. Equally if he wasn’t interested in the baby generally  before, why does he want 50:50  now? Is it so he can avoid maintenance payments?

    i think you need to maintain a calm unconcerned approach, don’t react or show any level of stress at his assertions.  Go on with preparing for your little one, choose a lovely name. You don’t need to tell him when you go into labour or when you register the birth. Once baby’s name is registered, I don’t think he can change it without your permission.

    after your baby arrives, offer him short  access visits with you present so you can see him build his “baby skills.

    #21230 Report

    single mum
    Participant

    Thank you – appreciate the insight!

    #21322 Report

    SilverFennec
    Participant

    Always put the child and it’s interest first. You are a better judge of that than any of us can be. Step by step, you will find the right solutions for the child and yourself. Even via committing mistakes. From what you are saying, your ex sounds immature and/or insecure. You will probably need to be a sort of guide for him too.

Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)

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