My children are 6 and 7, and I have been apart from their mum for 4 years now. At the start I would see my children alot and put them to bed virtually every night at her house and have them 2 nights a week at mine.
This slowly stopped as they were getting older and putting themselves to bed but I would still see them regularly. My ex calls me all the time at any point during the day even when I am at work and the majority of the time it was for me to tell my children off because they are being naughty, it got to the point where my kids didn’t want to come and see me because I was perceived to be the “bad parent”.
8 months ago I entered into a new relationship the first since I became single. The kids mum is not happy with this and has said its changed me, the only thing I have stopped is shouting down the phone at my kids when they are being naughty and this has made them alot happier with me. I still have them 2 nights a week and have even offered to have them three nights but their mum doesn’t want to do this and thinks I’m being unreasonable, when infact its her that is being unreasonable she is constantly changing the times I can pick the kids up and when I drop them off it will be early mornings and late at night. This ofcourse has an impact on my new relationship because we cannot make plans without worrying the times are going to change and if I don’t go along with what the ex says she kicks off and says horrible disgusting things to me and put me down for being a bad dad. This is not the case and my children know how much they mean to me and I would do anything I can for them.
I just want to know what the best route to go down would be to put a permanent thing in place for when I see my children so the times are not controlled by their mum and she cannot change them. Any advice would be appreciated thank you
I would say initially it would be best to email / text your ex partner some proposals regarding contact with set times and days. If this is not successful you would then if you decide, arrange family mediation to see if it can be resolved there. If neither of the 2 mentioned work it would leave you no alternative , but to apply to family courts to arrange child access arrangements.
Most dads when they go through family court proceedings end up with generally every other weekend , half of the holidays and 1 day midweek if workable either pick up from school and dinner or overnight stay drop off to school in morning. This would be if there was no safeguarding issues and normally after a final hearing has took place.
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