Advice needed.

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  • #17442 Report

    Hi I’m new here but seems just the place to get some advice. Sorry it will be a long post..


    Separated from my ex partner 6months ago he’s been seeing his new partner 4months now. He was abusive physically and emotionally in the relationship hence me finally growing the balls to throw him out. I have sent endless txts and said and done things in anger but all for my son. We have a nearly 2 year old son together.


    Ex partner is so selfish nothing is about our son only his needs. He would turn up as and when it suited so I did stop access for a while. Touch wood access has been started again because we did a parenting plan and agreed some ground rules. Which he didn’t stick to this was only 3 weeks ago!


    I’ve got court forms he’s asked for every weekend as that’s what he asked for months ago now he wants alternate because of new girlfriend and trying to use work to get out of it even though it’s on the court forms.. surely if I agree to his first choice of every weekend he can’t change his mind or this just proves it’s what he wants and isn’t consistent.

    Anyway said gradually introduce new partner to my son and he’s just thrown him in the deep end without a thought even though I’m having it rough at home with routine and bedtimes. Told him no sleepovers he agreed. Now he’s had her sleeping while my son is. And he’s told me he’s taking him to sleep there this weekend when he’s met her twice. He doesn’t do anything without her and can’t have 1 to 1 time with his own child.

    I feel like I don’t have a say in my son’s upbringing and I think he’s going to unsettle him even more taking him to stay there when he won’t even sleep at home. Then there is 2 weeks holiday when he hasn’t left my side since birth and gets and upset if I’m not around.

    I’m hoping court really do see it from my point of view and don’t grill me from my mistakes of hounding him when we split. Having a tough time. Any advice greatly appreciated.

    #17456 Report


    Hi there Kayli,

    Thanks for your post and welcome to our amazing community of single parents. We’re sorry to hear you’ve been through such a stressful time. We hear you and you aren’t alone.

    Just to let you know, we’ve dropped you a quick email with some information that may help you through this.

    We encourage other users to be supportive and share their stories.

    Happy chatting and take care of yourselves!

    Poppy at Gingerbread


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