Advice about social services

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  • #40049 Report

    Grace88
    Participant

    So on Saturday my hubby kicked me out of character in the thigh. It was due to the fact I told him his sibiling from 4 hours away couldnt come and stay with us for weekend mainly as one of kids is shielding ( any other time I would have said yes! ). Anyway I told him to leave and as I was in such a mess I confided with health visitor and now kinda wish I hadn’t sometimes as it’s now a bigger thing but I need the support and I was doing what was best for my kids and school and nursery know story also now as they would find out anyway better coming from me . We are having a serious chat in about 10 days and going through everything prob over FaceTime or socially distanced in garden when kids sleep not decided yet.. I’m not rushing my decision and would not take him back then and there anyway as it’s not a game. I’m mixed emotions and sometimes say to myself over and then I have second thoughts.
    Social work are not taking it further with me as I safeguarded the kids .
    But I want to know all options before we have this chat … if and I’m not saying will what would happen if I gave him another chance would they be involved , if they were not sure if I could cope with that as I’m a good mum and don’t wanna have any issues or risk to loose my kids . I love him and it’s been 8 years and 5 kids and 2 have severe autism and generally he’s a good dad but can say odd nasty word when stressed , it’s so hard. I hate corona virus and the stress it’s caused. No excuse of course.

     

     

    #40052 Report

    Bunnyhop
    Participant

    Social services really aren’t looking to just take your kids away any opportunity they can get. They are there to provide support and would only ever intervene if there was serious risk to any of the children of coming to harm or neglet. They will always try and keep the children with their family wherever possible despite some horror stories you might have heard. I can’t say whether they would get involved, now that there’s been a record of physical abuse your health visitor will probably monitor things along with the school etc and health visitors and social usually work quite closely together. So if your health visitor felt that there was some kind of a risk or even just that you might need additional support then yes social may get involved. But as long as your partner isnt continuing with that kind of physical abuse towards you and obviously the kids, as long as there isnt any emotional abuse going on, as long as the children aren’t being neglected or your not really really struggling to cope then you have nothing to worry about. If you are going to give things another go it would really help if your partner went to anger management or counselling to show that he is being proactive in ensuring it never happens again and acting in the interest of the family to deal with his issues. Maybe even you could ask the health visitor if they had any recommendations of family counselling services etc that you and your partner could attend together to show that you are both being proactive and taking the matter seriously. But please dont fear social services as they really aren’t looking to steal your kids away and its a shame they are labelled with that stigma because they actually offer so much support to so many families. Obviously its a decision only you can make but again I’ll reiterate to you – please dont take him back just because you’re worried about raising two autism children and another 3 kids by yourself. There is support out there for you and help available. So please dont let that be the thing that sways you in your decision. Hope this helps and stay safe

    #40054 Report

    Grace88
    Participant

    I’m more along lines of saying we over but want big picture so can make a good decision. Thanks for the great advice

    #40069 Report

    Grace88
    Participant

    Staying strong today but struggling with emotions it’s like a rollercoaster 😭😭

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