Advice about new boyfriend and my daughter

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  • #18460 Report


    Hi, I became a single parent 2 years ago and have been in another relationship for about the last 6 months. He seems like a very genuine and lovely guy but there’s just a few things that I am questioning.

    Recently I got asked to start working a few evening shifts at work and needed to arrange childcare for these occasions. Immediately he offered to look after my 5 year old daughter (who he has a great bond with) but I felt unsure as to whether I was ready for that so called in my mum instead. Since then there have been a number of occasions where he has eagerly offered to have my daughter while I do something else and he even asked her whether she wanted to go to town with him without checking with me first. I have not allowed any of this to happen. The thing is I don’t know what’s generally acceptable or normal in these situations. He clearly wants to be helpful and he adores my daughter but sometimes I feel like he’s a little too much. I have worked in safeguarding for a long time so maybe I am a little bit more aware of potential dangers but I can’t help myself now becoming really protective over my daughter. I feel like I am watching every moment and maybe reading into things too much.

    Any advice around how to handle this would be much appreciated!

    #18464 Report

    <i style=”mso-bidi-font-style: normal;”><span style=”color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;”>Hi Butterfly 333.  </span></i><i><span style=”color: #000000;”>Thank you for sharing your situation on our online forum and welcome to our community. The community is really good at empathizing with your situation and should be able to talk through similar experiences.  </span></i><i><span style=”color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;”>Please continue to chat with other parents if you find it useful to do so.  Just so you are aware, I have sent you an email.</span></i>

    <i style=”mso-bidi-font-style: normal;”><span style=”color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;”> </span></i><i><span style=”color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;”>Take care and best wishes</span></i>


    #18506 Report


    It is natural to be protective of your daughter.

    I think you need to go with your instinct for the moment. The other thing you could do is check with the police if he has a history of dv, and make it clear to them that there is a 5yo in the house.

    He is probably just eager to help but I quite understand why you need to be sure.

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