hi hope you can help, I’m new here. I am a single mum to two girls aged 6 and 11.my husband walked out when my youngest was 6 months old , met someone else has gone on to have two more children. We are now divorced and he moved about 50 miles away. At the moment he has them every other weekend , he is supposed to have them one night in the week but never got them to school in time so he just cones down and takes them for tea. Except most weeks there is an excuse and he either doesn’t come or changes it to another night. He hasn’t paid maintenance for 5 months , every time I ask him for it he says he will go for 50/50 custody . Would be get very far? He can barely do the arrangements we gave just, both children are settled in local schools , one due to start secondary school in September with friends , clubs etc . Any advice greatly appreciated.
Don’t be held over a barrel about the maintenance. He’s using the fear of the threat of going for 50/50 to stop you having what the children deserve and have a right to!
Imo go to cms as at any point if he decided he could take you to court and you’d have no recompense for the miss payments. And once you’re free of the threat and can say ok take me to court after mediation as that’s the process with confidence he’s unlikely to. He cannot show that even when the midweek was there that he didn’t manage the children’s needs erring to school on time. Hopefully you have a record of midweeks he’s missed or was late for etc. You’d show that to demonstrate that this situation isn’t practical.
in essence I don’t think that he’d ever go for 50/50 as a result as he’d then be accountable especially if you said to the court ok let’s do a trial run of two terms and review! The autumn term being longest and hardest! I’d think he’d most likely ask for increased contact in the holidays when he can farm the childcare to someone else! And that’s worst case!
I think your ex is bluffing, in order to avoid paying maintenence. He doesn’t want 50:50 care. He can’t manage one evening reliably. How would he cope with driving 100 mile round trip 10 days a month to do school run. He wouldn’t. And his partner has her own school run to do.
It’s appalling that he’s contributing nothing to his children’s upkeep.
Only you know whether you need the income or not. That’s a personal decision but if you do, I’d put in a CMs claim.