Advice- 3 year old struggling/ regress with time away.
11 February 2020 at 3:41 pm #36629
My daughter is 3 and i’m her main carer. She is a vibrant happy little girl but has had problems with seperation anxiety in the past and I have worked exceedingly hard to help support& encourage her and keep a lid on things ( gradual approaches) so things in her little life don’t regress. She is quite a sensitive child ( i believe she may be ever so slightly on the autistic scale) and it seems if she is upset, /something throws her off track her diet , bowels and or her sleep is disrupted and her increase in looking for comfort with me increases. For example contact and time has increased with her father. However since her time away has increased with him now she is voicing she doesnt want to go and becomes quite upset. She told me she isnt allowed to cry and tells me she has been brave to which i praise her as I so very much need her to feel comfortable, yet i have seen regression in a couple of areas. Her father is 1.5 hrs away. Contact is due become overnight in several months and the fact that my daughter has voiced she misses home and there has been main regression in sleep pattern( eg-more comfort getting her to sleep, her calling me several times during the night, not sleeping in her own room and co sleeping) is hard work .
I constantly encourage, reassure her as i want her to be comfortable yet even trialling time away where she just stays with Nanny ( whom we live with and its our main home) my daughter really misses me and finds it a struggle.
She gets home sick even if we have been away she has voiced that she wants to go home .
I have read and know many tips and have implented them yet i am trying my upmost to support her so she is comfortable when overnights with her father have to happen. Her father is pushing for a weeks holiday away too yet a night away from home (without her home comforts, myself or Nanny) hasnt even been tried yet so no idea on how my daugher will respond with one night, let alone 7 away with people shw is unfamiliar with and an unfamilar place. She is only 3!
Going off what i have seen i dont know what else to do to best support her and feel i face wrongful criticism from my ex. He even said i told our daughter that i said ‘Daddy wasnt allowed to take her on holiday ( ive never and would never say anything of the sorts, i was outraged as i need my daughter to feel reassured and happy, she is my world! However she is no where near at that level or stage and too much too soon will be detrimental to her. She gas alot of changes to deal with this year ( moving home, starting school, new sibling ) and it needs to runs as smoothly as possible for her.
Has anyone any other tips or experience ? as i feel my concerns are being ignored. I do everything for our daugher and support her providing as many opportunities as possible and support her fully financially too . Any advice would be greatfully appriciated.