Access to my 6 month daughter and distance for travelling

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  • #30528 Report

    DillonHS
    Participant

    I was married to my wife for 3 years. She would work from her family home during the week and then travel down to meet me on the weekends. As soon as she fell pregnan , she had remained at her family home and since the birth of our 6 month old girl, she had been pushing divorce .

    Also her months has past away after 4 weeks of birth and 2 months after the birth of the child she was back at work

    Is there a way I can prove she only had me for a child?

     

    Also can I prove she is a bit mentally in stable as she has gone straight back to work, after proposing

     

    #30530 Report

    Ms.Swan
    Participant

    ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTIONS….. NO AND NO

    please try not to feel offended but sometimes you just have to say what is on your mind. Usually, I would take time in my responses but I couldn’t this time. This reply is mainly opinion based and it really shouldn’t be so, I am really sorry if I upset anyone who reads it.

    Dillon,

    Your post seems to be a bit unclear and a little offensive. I am certainly not impressed but I am also a realist. I try to understand where everyone is coming from.

    FIRSTLY, in my opinion, in your defense, you may want to push for a paternity test. If all remains true, It seems a bit odd that someone would marry you just to have a child and then push you away and that’s that, bobs your uncle. Usually, if something does not make sense, well…. then you do not know the full story…Ok, it is a bit presumptuous to say but… as I said I am a realist.

    BUT THEN AGAIN

    I read something once, “IF YOU CHANGE THE WAY YOU LOOK AT THINGS, THE THINGS YOU LOOK AT WILL CHANGE”.

    Have you thought:

    1. Why would she go to the full extent of marrying you just to get pregnant? Surely, she loved you? You seemed to be very focused on a negative cycle of thinking. This is not good for your mental state. It can cause high levels of stress which can lead to depression which can ultimately effect your overall well-being. You may even possibly start to become paranoid and have distorted perceptions of  … of your wife/ex?

    2. Have you thought she could possibly be struggling with her emotional state, having a baby is difficult on both parents and a lack of sleep can build some strong tensions within the household and/or relationship? Where you prohibited from traveling to her? It sounds as if it was all one-sided? It is a rhetorical question.. something for thought.

    3. Maybe her going back to work was a way for her to escape her feelings, a way of distracting herself from the overwhelming feelings of such a big change?

    4. MAYBE she needs you to be a little more supportive. She is not mentally ill for the reasons you suggest!!!!!!!

    I do not have any constructive advice other than it would be helpful for you to read up on what it means to actually be mentally ill, the risk factors involved and the support that individuals may need if this is the latter.

    If you yourself are suffering from your emotions then I would suggest you seek advice from our GP or a councilor. There is a lot of online help. You seem to be very resentful. There is a lot of self-help strategies for this.

    I think that you need to focus on the little one if your wife wants a divorce it is no reason to make things nasty.

    #30542 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    Hi Dillon. It’s obvious you are upset but it seems unlikely someone would marry just to have a baby.

    Having a first baby is a huge challenge and     women often need support from their families. You don’t say if your wife is very young. Were you around during the week or working away? Did you live together when first married?

    Could it be that she didn’t want to move away from her family and hoped you would move to be with her? Is that normal in her culture?

    You certainly can’t prove she “only wanted  you for a baby” and even if it was true, it isn’t a crime.

    As for going back to work, if she expects to be a single mum, she may feel she needs to keep her career going so she can support herself.  It doesn’t make her mentally unstable.

    Moving forward, you could try counselling together and get to the root of the problem, but if she is fixed on the divorce, while not easy, it is best to try for an amicable relationship so you can see your daughter in as happy an environment as possible.

    I hope things get easier.

    #31072 Report

    Mike_71
    Participant

    I’m not sure someone can make a diagnosis about mental illness based on the limited information you’re provided.

    Which is why I’m a bit surprised that the two ladies above have leapt to your wife’s defence so readily. Your wife may be mentally unstable, we just don’t know at this point.

    You may be able to accumulate evidence that your wife has a mental problem, but the fact that she has gone back to work is not proof that she is mad. Has she displayed other symptoms? Are those different from, perhaps, behaviours that one might see from someone who has post natal depression?

     

    • This reply was modified 11 months, 3 weeks ago by GingerbreadJustine. Reason: Edited by moderator
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