Access on LO’s birthday
25 November 2018 at 12:09 pm #18111
Hi everyone. It’s my daughter’s birthday next Saturday, and unfortunately it falls on ex’s weekend with the girls. I have requested that I take them both overnight on Friday, as we’re having her party at my house on Saturday. Then he can take them Saturday night and Sunday night too. He would of course be welcome to attend the party.
He is refusing this and wants instead for me to have them Saturday afternoon for the party, then overnight and he’ll pick them up Sunday morning.
I know it’s his weekend, but as it’s a special occasion I had hoped he would be reasonable. Christmas falls on a day when he wouldn’t normally have access, but I’ve told him he can have the girls Christmas Eve until 8pm, then Christmas say afternoon and overnight. I had hoped that this would mean he might be more willing to negotiate.
Am I being unreasonable? How do other parents work these occasions? He has accused me of trying to ‘take a mile’ etc… there’s no residency order in place as yet- we’re waiting for a court date.25 November 2018 at 2:34 pm #18112
So he,s agreed that you can have lo on Saturday so the party can go ahead and he’ll collect them on Sunday morning.
That’s good isn’t it. What’s the problem?25 November 2018 at 4:33 pm #18119
Yeah basically, I thought it would be easier as it’s the same amount of time, plus I want to be there for her birthday morning. As stupid as it sounds too, ex has a gf and I’m alone. The thought of waking up to an empty house on my daughter’s birthday just kills me.
I really really want you all to be honest with me so if I’m being an irrational ar$e then say!!!25 November 2018 at 8:27 pm #18129
Well the girls will be with me for the majority of the day on Christmas Eve- his family have a meal every year on the night so I’ve said he can take them to that. So he’ll only really have them from 5-8ish. Then Wednesday, which is Boxing Day, is normally his night to have them over, so he’ll have them on the Tuesday night (Christmas Day) instead… God, my head is hurting with the logistics of it all! This is our first Christmas apart. Someone tell me it gets easier?!!!25 November 2018 at 9:01 pm #18134
Can I bring some male prospective, as predominantly not being the resident parent, so maybe not a male but non resident prospective.
I hear it a lot its a special day, so should spend it with the resident parent, Please put yourself in the life of a non resident parent, their contact to them are more than likely even more valuable than our. so I suspect as a resident parent myself ask them to change their visit, because its a special day, they read that as you not important.
I think he actually being reasonable letting your daughter have her birthday at yours.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing, maybe next year you both talk about how you both going to arranger her birthday, this way you both making the decision.
I think its really nice that you have you have thought of him over Christmas, sometimes we bite of our nose to spite our face, I suspect its hard because you are making the calls, but unfortunately residents parents have to make ultimate decision.
I hope this helps, just trying to give you a further prospective.
Hope you get thing sorted and most of all your daughter has a wonderful birthday.25 November 2018 at 9:25 pm #18135
Thank you TrevCarp, I didn’t think of it that way at all. You’re right- he only gets to see his daughters 30% of the month compared to my 70%. He has been an absolute tw&t in the past to me but he loves his kids.