I left my husband 3 months ago due to his excessively controlling behaviour. Our son is about to turn 1 and we are in the process of sorting access arrangements.
Im completely lost with where to start regarding birthdays / Christmas / holidays and would really value anybodies experiences of arrangements with such a young child.
My husband wants multiple 3 day breaks with our son between now and his 2nd birthday which I feel strongly against as I don’t feel that he should be away from his mother for 2 consecutive nights when he is so young.
Any help / advice would be really welcome as I feel completely overwhelmed by it all.
Thank you so much for your response although it’s made me feel sick to my stomach.
My baby’s father has been having my son for 2 nights per week until recently when I tried to reduce this to 1 night and he “negotiated” to 1.5 (1 week 1 night, 1 week 2 nights). This was on the basis that he’d apparently done a lot of reading (which he does) and believed a court would grant him more – hence, I fely that I was better to accept 1.5 than it be increased. I can’t believe that I didn’t come on this forum sooner!! I’m so so angry at myself as this decision could have cost myself and my son dearly.
I honestly don’t know where to turn to from here as reducing contact again may not do me any favours. I don’t doubt that he is capable of looking after my son – but his controlling behaviour and emotional abuse towards me makes me hugely question his motives. Especially given that he didn’t want to do anything with us as a family when we were together but now says that he takes him out all of the time for days out.
i feel as though I’ve done the “strong” thing for leaving a toxic relationship as I didn’t want my son growing up in a home like that, but now I’m paying the price you not having reduced contact right down from the start. I just thought I was doing the “reasonable” thing by allowing him a relationship with our son
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