Access arrangements with Baby

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  • #10462 Report


    I left my husband 3 months ago due to his excessively controlling behaviour. Our son is about to turn 1 and we are in the process of sorting access arrangements.

    Im completely lost with where to start regarding birthdays / Christmas / holidays and would really value anybodies experiences of arrangements with such a young child.

    My husband wants multiple 3 day breaks with our son between now and his 2nd birthday which I feel strongly against as I don’t feel that he should be away from his mother for 2 consecutive nights when he is so young.

    Any help / advice would be really welcome as I feel completely overwhelmed by it all.

    #10476 Report


    Thank you so much for your response although it’s made me feel sick to my stomach.

    My baby’s father has been having my son for 2 nights per week until recently when I tried to reduce this to 1 night and he “negotiated” to 1.5 (1 week 1 night, 1 week 2 nights). This was on the basis that he’d apparently done a lot of reading (which he does) and believed a court would grant him more – hence, I fely that I was better to accept 1.5 than it be increased. I can’t believe that I didn’t come on this forum sooner!! I’m so so angry at myself as this decision could have cost myself and my son dearly.

    I honestly don’t know where to turn to from here as reducing contact again may not do me any favours. I don’t doubt that he is capable of looking after my son – but his controlling behaviour and emotional abuse towards me makes me hugely question his motives. Especially given that he didn’t want to do anything with us as a family when we were together but now says that he takes him out all of the time for days out.

    i feel as though I’ve done the “strong” thing for leaving a toxic relationship as I didn’t want my son growing up in a home like that, but now I’m paying the price you not having reduced contact right down from the start. I just thought I was doing the “reasonable” thing by allowing him a relationship with our son

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