15 March 2021 at 8:32 pm #51319
Good evening this is my first time on something like this I am not good at talking about think like most men are.
Me and my ex partner split up nearly 2 years ago now and I have had my children every day off I have a work a 5 day then 6 day week and work 8.30-6.30 day (also my children are only 3-6)
I am finding it had to talk to my ex about reducing the time I have the children. All I want to do it drop the Sunday’s that I only have them 10-4 anyway. As I never have time for friend or family as I constantly have my kid or are working any advise?
And do you think I am wrong to want this ?15 March 2021 at 9:02 pm #51320
Do you mean you have them only on Sundays,unless I understood incorrectly….did you mean you work 6 days every week or alternately a 5 & 6 day work week?
If that’s correct,do you want drop seeing them on the Sunday?15 March 2021 at 9:30 pm #51322
Sorrt I wasn’t clear I work a 2 week rota a 5 day week then a 6 day. So when I work a 5 way week I have them Saturday and Sunday then when a work a 6 day week I have them on a Sunday only.15 March 2021 at 9:40 pm #51323
Personally, I do feel it’s wrong to reduce the time you spend with the children.
I’ve never quit got my head round people not wanting to spend more time with there kids.
I feel it’s wrong that you expect your ex to have the children 24hours a day 5 or 6 days a week, she probably takes the kids to meet friend and family and her whole life evolves around the children, why can’t you do the same? ….: and then saying I want to drop sundays “I only have them 10-4 anyway” like those 6 hours really don’t count.
If your job isn’t allowing you to see you kids and have the social life you want, change the job. Children, aren’t children forever and they could resent you in the future for not putting them first.15 March 2021 at 9:44 pm #51324
Thing is,i’m on the other side of things….I don’t know any details so it’s not fair to judge but if their mum has them every day during the week it does get a bit heavy and if the only break she gets is when you take them it’s a bit cruel to take that away from her.Does she work? Also,what about your kids? When will they see you otherwise? And you could see your family With them.Like most single mum’s do.If you’re working till 8:30 pm you get your time on your own then.
The long and the short of it is no one can really tell you what to do if they don’t know the details. But I do find it odd that a parent who sees his kids less than a week each month wants to reduce that.Who do you think is going to choose your old age home?16 March 2021 at 8:39 pm #51557
In my opinion I think it is totally understandable to want to have some kind of balance in your life, as non-resident parent. There are so many tough choices that you have to make, in your position, and I can hear that this is one that you are struggling with due to the guilt associated with it and the judgement from others this decision inevitably brings with it.
The challenges that you face when you are the non-resident father mean that you have to take very difficult choices, ones that sometimes will be judged by others as heartless, and people might frame this as you not caring about your children enough. This is not the case. Often, the default is perpetuated that if you are not working then every other moment should be spent with your children and that you should actively want that. Now while emotionally that might be the case on one level, as of course we want to spend as much time with our children as possible, for many other reasons that may not be sustainable or healthy. You are entitled to want, and indeed should, have time without your children where you are also not working too.
I hope that helps.17 March 2021 at 4:43 pm #51625
Nonsense.17 March 2021 at 6:08 pm #51627
You want to reduce the time you have with your children? Sorry mate but your in the wrong place for understanding with that line of thinking Sorry to say it but your either in….or your out. Decision time.. Many parents on here face some shit, tough decisions. Whether that be work. family,social life,friends. Sorry to be cruel but theres no point me typing messages if your not going to understand. Ive only learnt what youve told in your message and you want to have them less. It must be 99.99 percent of parents on here want them MORE ! Is it easier to have them less? You bet. But thats not how it works and deep down i think you know that. Forget “your” time. It doesnt exist anymore. Kiss it off. Your a parent