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  • #35977 Report

    LauraS
    Participant

    Hi all

    I’m new on here and just keen to get some objective feedback on my situation from others who may have gone through similiar.

    My husband and I separated in July and he left the family home in September. We have two children aged 4.5 and nearly 2. He works 6 evenings a week (5-10pm) and two days a week (inc Saturdays) he works 2-10pm. He lives a 2hr drive away from us now.

    We went to see a mediator (he’s refused to go back) and they suggested he take 1 Saturday / mth as annual leave to have them a full weekend and he was onboard though annoyed as he says I’m dictating his days off and that he doesn’t want to use his days off to give me time off? He also asked to do the school run two mornings a week and have our daughter for those mornings which I agreed to. Since that was agreed he has cancelled 2/4 mornings and one he cut short from 4hrs to 2.5. When I asked if he could stay and play with her for longer he got angry and said he would cancel the days off. I am desperate for the children to spend proper quality time with their dad and for them to have a relationship with him but I need him to be more reliable so they know when to expect him and I can plan my time with and without them. I told him if he cancelled his leave I would stop access so he has to take me to court to get an access order which he will have to stick to. I feel it’s my only option other than to live wondering if and when hel turn up for them. Did I over react? Is it better that they see him infrequently than not at all? I’m still hurting from the separation but I really want to be sure I’m acting in their best interests:(

    #35978 Report

    mstime
    Participant

    Hi Laura

    You are trying your best. Always bear that in mind. Its better they see him infrequently than not at all but hopefully you guys can sort something beneficial to you all eventually. It will be hard for everyone of you and while im in no way taking sides but it will be hard for him too. If he lives 2 hour drive away and has asked to do the school run then it sounds like hes at least trying. Your not dictating his days off. He has choices and will need to make them that suits you all. You cant be expected to dance to anyones tune. Maybe in the cirumstances you should be the one telling him what he can and cant do? Its all a fine balance and i really hope you find your way. Sorry couldnt help much just felt i had to reply. Take care

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