Abusive teen

[DonnaDonna]

Hi all,

I’ve not been on here for a while but today I felt really low and had to reach out..I’m a single mum of three..my eldest is 18..now I’ve had my fair share of serious problems with him a few years back but I got him and our family help and support and he seemed to have turned a corner..however since he has turned 18 he seems to be adamant to do whatever he wants and conveys I don’t have the right to tell him what to do and not do and that his life is none of my business (I don’t dictate to him at all only advice and discuss consequences to choices).. today he has verbally abused me calling me all the names under the sun telling me I’m a shut parent failure lazy (my youngest is 3 so not working atm) amongst other degrading insults and has then said ‘it’s no wonder I (him) smoke weed all the time it’s because of you and this shit life with you (me)!’..He preceded to threatening to smash up the house report me to social services for being a shit parent told me to go take my pills (I’ve suffered panic disorder and depression in the past) . He has been skiving off college , lying to his p/t job and not turning up for shifts and staying out til 5am most weekends leaving the house late at night during the week..his father is on and off with contact with him and I just feel broken and I don’t know what to do..how do I handle this ? The abuse is the same as I was getting from his dad during and for many years after the relationship..please any advice or support would be much appreciated and apologies for the long vent xxx

[Kathymumofone]

I’ve no idea how to help (mine’s only 11) but sending hugs.  Hope you feel better tomorrow.

[DonnaDonna]

Thank you ❤️

[GingerbreadJustine]

Hi DonnaDonna

Thank you for posting this on the forum.  I’m sorry you are experiencing this.  I will be sending you a personal message with some signposting options.

Kind regards, Justine

[Jenjen31]

Hi DonnaDonna

Ive just joined this site as I too am at breaking point. My story is exactly the same as yours with my 18 year old but he has taken to hurting me when I tell him I’m not paying his weed debt. The names that I am called are disgusting and reduce me to tears. I dread coming home from work and weekends as he can’t be civil and every week we go through the same argument. If it isn’t bolted down in my house it gets sold. Ive been advised to phone the police when he starts smashing the house up or hurting me but its hard as I want to protect him in a way.  Sleep is non existent as he comes and goes all night. <span style=”text-align: center;”>Anyway you are not alone and the more I seek help the more I realise that many many parents go through this. J</span>

[GingerbreadJustine]

Hi Jenjen31

Thankyou for posting here on the forum.  Please keep an eye out for a personal message as I will sending you through some signposting options.

Kind regards, Justine

[Sherinam]

Your children are of age where they can move out and live their lives. I hear about this all the time. Really you should be telling them to leave. They are not contributing to  the home or economy so time to move out. You are working hard and they are spending your hard earn cash on drugs and booze. Truly disgusting!!

[alex38]

My son is 14 and swings from hero to absolute nightmare, the thought that I’m stuck with him till he’s 18 sends me into desperation so i totally understand your post, please free yourself, he’s 18 you have no obligation to support him anymore, report him to the police and kick him out; any other children in the house will be witnessing him abuse you and will end up thinking that that is normal, you owe it to yourself to protect yourself and heal, you’ve done all you could he’s got no right to treat you like this, you deserve respect and love.

Sending you warm hugs.

 

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