Absent fathers

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  • #63155 Report

    Rothomp
    Participant

    Hello everyone, I have only joined this group today.

     

    This is a huge step for me- I have very recently said enough is enough to and abusive partner and feel extremely vunerable.

     

    What I have spent the last few hours doing is searching the internet for a child’s book that could help explain the fact that my 3 yr olds dad won’t be having contact for the foreseeable, I have suggested to her making cards , tried explaining that they still love each other very much but she’s so sad and I can’t find anything anywhere that is relevant.

     

    If anyone can help it would be so appreciated

    #63172 Report

    steve3334
    Participant

    hi,

    I can imagine that must be very sad for the child. Do you mind me asking what are reasons the dad will not be seeing child?

    #63177 Report

    Rothomp
    Participant

    Hello he is at the moment not willing to see her not on his terms so somewhere mutual and with someone else dropping off and picking up.

    #63186 Report

    GingerbreadHelen
    Keymaster

    Hi Rothomp, Please look out for a private message from me with some ideas for support. Best wishes

    #63253 Report

    Leeannie
    Participant

    Hi everyone, I recently joined the group and thank you all for having me feel so good in having person to chat too about being isolated for all my friends, so now I am trying to find my way.

     

    And coming out of an emotional and verbal abuse for my ex husband, I am now hoping in feeling a little peace back so I can be able to provide more for my little 2 years son, all do he is too young to understand what is going on about the more.

     

    So any help I will welcome with wide hands.

    #63261 Report

    TxRedneckUK
    Participant

    Hi there. I hate seeing post like this but sadly it happens and all people like us can do it be there to support you, morally and in physical ways as well. I do know how you feel though. I am a single dad and my 25yr old daughter has not seen her biological mother since she was 9 months old and she never wants to see her mother ever. Now my 16yr old girl is going through the fact that she hasn’t been with her mother in 6 months and her mother only lives 500 yards away (practically 3 minute walk). It is sad watching it happen again but the one who will regret it is their mothers. And in your case their dad. He will realise that he has messed up and missed out on what will be the most important bonding time of all.

    Good luck with it and hang in there. I am here for you too like all the others.

    JW

    #63262 Report

    steve3334
    Participant

    Hi Rothomp, is there no other way to arrange the meetings? Frankly if I was in the dad’s shoes, I would have nobody available to drop and pick up child. everyone is busy with their own life and families. I took the legal route, rather than be controlled by my ex wife. If he is not a danger to the child, could he not spend a few hours or a day with child at his place?

    • This reply was modified 1 day, 21 hours ago by steve3334.
    #63266 Report

    Rothomp
    Participant

    Thanks so much for taking the time to respond, it absolutely breaks my heart and I feel helpless I don’t understand why he won’t put them first and see that they are what matters. I have tried offering so many different situations but nothing is good enough.

    #63267 Report

    Rothomp
    Participant

    The visits need to be supervised as he has been violent and aggressive towards me but they have witnessed he has also threatened to take them before. I have offered to drop pick up , I have offered at my house or else where somewhere mutual. I have jumped through every hoop and tried everything and he just won’t agree to anything at the moment, I have said if he ever changes his mind we will find a way for him to see them, but I can’t make him want to

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