Absent father

[Workingmum]

Hi, I’m new. I’d like to know if anyone has any advice, my 7yr old is asking questions & I think soon I may have to consider contacting his father who hasn’t seen him since his 1st birthday in fact he doesn’t know he exists 😬 he’s not interested in him nor pays towards his upbringing. Father has also recently married & has a new baby. I don’t want my son to be rejected?! Has anyone had this problem.

[Kathymumofone]

If your ex hasn’t seen his son for 7 years, it seems likely he doesn’t want to be in his life. If he doesn’t even pay maintenance, it is possible his new wife is unaware of your son’s existence.

If you approach him now it may be a big shock.  I’d do it discreetly, allow him time to get used to the idea, and give him time to break the news to his wife. Be prepared  he may refuse to see your son.

Don’t tell your son before you try. I’d wait and see how he reacts. Good luck.

[Workingmum]

I’m not interested in how much of a shock it may be to them my only concern is my son. But yes she knows he has a son with me! He has most likely filled her head with a load of nonsense to why he doesn’t see him 🙄 I personally would prefer not to have contact at all but if my son wants to meet him & find out about him then I wouldn’t deny him the chance, surely that would make me a bad person? He will maybe find him when he’s old enough to do so alone anyway?

[Lou.m.l.88]

My middle son’s dad has never met him and not interested. I’ve applied for maintainence which in 5 years I still havnt got. I tried messaging him to tell him his son was asking after him and I got ignored. Until his partner contacted me after receiving a letter for him from maintenance. I don’t know how they do it, how would they feel. Guess the kids are better off without them x

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