Absence of a father figure

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  • #54973 Report

    s_t_aries
    Participant

    Hi everyone,

    Any advice on how to deal with a four year old, asking about dad. And the dad isn’t present for some time. What can I do for my son, for him not to feel that void in his life?

     

    any advice? Anyone in this situation?

     

    #54989 Report

    Timefortea
    Participant

    Hello!
    My daughter was like this as she had not seen her father in god knows how long, until I demanded he sees his child. I can understand the feeling though of when a child asks for the other parent and they aren’t present, I found it especially frustrating when my daughters pre-school would almost harass me for family pictures haha when I am family! – Anyways to answer your question I think (personally) it’s better to just tell the truth (in the best possible sugar coated way) as children are very smart.

    For a long time I was telling my daughter that daddy was not around as he was working but she’s not silly as I also work but she still sees me! – Just explain how much you love him!

    #55018 Report

    MARS
    Participant

    It’s a tough one. Just be honest at all times in a four year old understanding way…if that makes sense and if you do have any other male roles models in your family use them even if they can only spend 10 mins. I’ve also found that being lots of fun also helps ( I think sometimes I can be too serious) the fun helps X

    #55019 Report

    Morgs83
    Participant

    Hi All,

    This is an interesting topic for me. I have a 5 week old little girl. Her father doesn’t want to be involved. He doesn’t even want to know anything about her or to meet her. It’s heartbreaking. I know that one day I’ll be in the same situation when she asks about her dad. Im dreading it 😔

    #55021 Report

    Fluffylittleclouds
    Participant

    I’d probably try to reassure him that every family is different but that doesn’t make any family better or lesser. Some have 2 dads, some have 1 mum, some have a mum and dad or some kids live with grandparents or in foster care. Reassure him that its nothing he has done. Every person has a mum and dad but they don’t always live with them. Depends has his dad left or you were never together or is he in prison or working away? I’d probably have a different answer if it was a permanent separation compared to if he is working away or inside for a bit. If its either of the last two I’d be honest. I do think honesty is best regardless. Kids understand more than we think and will soon suss out if you lie! Obviously explain it in an age appropriate way.

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