about to submit C100 form

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  • #54189 Report

    trev2406
    Participant

    Bit of long one but need some reassurance that I’m hopefully doing the right thing.

    So back in February I attended MIAM, ex refused and has since refused twice more when I have brought it up.

    Things improved for a couple of weeks, he then gets unpredictable with timings for drop off/pick up, threatens suicide and claims mental health is bad.

    In the last couple of weeks he has used our son as a messenger to tell me he is staying at his dads for extra nights, this upset our son because I didn’t know anything about it our son thought he was wrong.
    He has turned up 1.5 hours early for collecting our son, our son was upset and said sorry he didn’t tell me but he didn’t know.
    Our son has witnessed his dad and gf split up 3 times each time his dad then says he can’t cope with our son and I have to collect him.
    Ex has told me he is taking our son to Spain in June so needs his passport but won’t give me any details and said our son can tell me what I need to know. And he doesn’t need or want a letter from me confirming the holiday is ok.

    We have tried a parenting plan, ex won’t stick to it, I have changed arrangement to suit his life, after a couple of weeks he won’t stick to it and then comes to collect our son whenever he wants.

    Ex and his gf have now become abusive towards me, saying it won’t be long until I’m completely out of everything, just I wait until our son is older and he chooses them etc. Ex will now not communicate at all.

    The whole things is exhausting. At this point I feel if I don’t file the C100 then I’m not protecting our son. Until this point I have never refused my ex seeing his son, have never been late/early to a drop off but I’m accused of using our son as a weapon and I’m manipulating my ex. All this kind of talk only happens when he is back with his gf. If they aren’t together ex is relatively normal, apart from begging me to take him back.

    Do I tell CAFCASS all of this at the initial interview stage? The police have been out to my ex at least 3 times when he has claimed he is going to commit suicide, once having to kick in the door. Will this sort of thing show on his police checks?

    I want our son to see his dad but I don’t want him to be used as a messenger or feel like he has to apologise when his dad can’t stick to a plan. Is there the potential that CAFCASS will recommend contact stop because of the mental health aspect? I’m so worried about all this kicking off and the backlash I will get.

    #54191 Report

    steve3334
    Participant

    hi,

    Cafcass will not like it one bit that child is being used as a messenger, as that exposes the child to conflict between parents. it sounds as though a c100 is needed. they will assess your ex’s mental health and the whole situation with the child arrangements. if the suicide threats and police checks happened over 12 months ago, then they should show up on records, when cafcass do their checks. your MIAM paperwork is valid for 4 months, can you check if it has expired? if so, you will have to sit another one if you want to file c100

    #54192 Report

    trev2406
    Participant

    Yes MIAM paperwork is fine, I received the signed C100 from the mediator last week so I am fine to submit the paperwork to court.

    Our son goes from seeing his parents talking at pick ups for a few weeks (when him and his gf split up) to his dad then refusing to bring him out the house to my car when they are back together. I feel like if I don’t do this then I’m protecting my ex more than my son by in continuing to happen and things now are only getting worse but so scared of the repercussions from ex and his gf.

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