About to seperate

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  • #7584 Report


    Hi very new to this. Found out my wife is having an affair at work. We have been together 28 years and married for 25, with 5 children. She wants to make a new life with the other person. He is only 21 my wife’s 46 so she will be  leaving the children with me. As you can imagine my world has  come crashing down, my eldest son who’s 17 works with his mum, its his friend she’s been seeing, so have had to get him help to deal with the situation. The other children are doing okay at the moment have put things in place at their school if they need to talk. Luckily I have always been a hands on dad so cooking etc. will not be a problem. Family and friends have been fantastic, but due to their commitment’s cannot help much.

    I work from home running a small business, but will have to reduce the hours I work have been on the benefits calculator and should be okay, but its all new to me. At 54 was looking forward to life getting easier now everything seems scary. Reading some of the stories on here has given me  hope, that life  eventually gets back to normal. Trying to keep positive  doing more days out with the children, and taking each one out separately so they can talk. Its sad seeing them hurting, although their mum sees them  most nights before work. Trying to keep friends with her  to make it as painless as possible for the children. I rang the other person and told him to look after my wife like I have done for 28 years.




    #7591 Report


    Hi Louis

    So sorry that you are having a terrible time. You sound so lovely.

    I have 3 teenagers and it is hard when splitting up.

    There’s a lot of support on this forum. Please feel free to pm me if I can help

    #7593 Report


    Thanks Anonymous

    She has said she will pay maintenance,  just sorting  finances out  28 years of doing everything together takes some unravelling. I’m okay now the shock as worn off  trying to find a little bit of time for myself,  but the children’s well being is my main concern at the moment. Last week would have been our silver wedding anniversary that was hard, but  I cant change the situation so am  trying to remain positive, some days its  hard  but  from what I’ve read on here gets easier with time.

    #7616 Report


    If wife has ran off with a Toy Boy less than half her age maybe you are well rid?

    As Anonymous says she will have to make child maintenance payments as she will be the Non Resident Parent.  You may wish to close joint accounts to prevent debts being ran up.




    #7622 Report


    Thanks for the advice. Would not have her back always trusted her, would never have cheated on her, had a few chances too but always said no I’m  married.Shes destroyed that trust,  and now in the future if ever their will be someone would not be so trusting. Not her usual behaviour  shes always been a great wife and mum. Shame its happened but cant change it., so  I’m  trying to move on  day by day.

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