Abandoned whilst pregnant

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  • #60167 Report


    <span class=”s1″>Hello all I’m new here and this is my first post,</span>

    <span class=”s1″>I’m in a terrible situation and I’m really struggling with life right now. I fell in love with somebody and it moved extremely quickly. He had an ex-girlfriend who was pregnant at the time. I was with him only around 2 months when I found out I was pregnant as well. I was scared and worried and asked him how he felt and what he wanted me to do, he said no matter what he will support me and the baby. I directly asked him if he wanted me to have a termination and he said no. We stayed together for 4 months (I literally stayed with him every single night so I know he wasn’t seeing his ex at all during this period of time) and he came to all of my scans, including a private 16 week gender scan when we found out we were having a little girl. I have a video of his mum finding out the gender and she screams with joy and we were all crying – happy tears! He introduced me to all his family and friends and spoke about our future together. I had never been so happy and I genuinely thought I had met my soulmate. </span>

    <span class=”s1″>His ex has had the baby and he hasn’t spoken to me since. He hasn’t even given me the time of day, he refused to come to my other scans. He won’t talk to me and has ignored every message I sent him. I saw him a  few weeks ago as his car was parked up so I waited for him to return so I could speak with him (pregnancy hormones are all over the place and my mental health is the worst it’s ever been), he tells me he is back with her and that the baby has brought them closer together. She is fully aware that I am pregnant. He said he would still be there for me and my daughter, but honestly how can I believe a word he says? And in what capacity will he be there for me and the baby? It’s worth mentioning as well that he is an alcoholic and a drug addict. I wasn’t aware of this at the start of our relationship. </span>

    <span class=”s1″>Although I was very happy I also need to mention that he was emotionally abusive and controlling towards me, he went through my phone regularly and woke me up at 5am in a drug fuelled rage when he found a message he didn’t like from 4 years ago. Before I even knew who he was. He also re downloaded a dating app on my phone and went through all my messages (all were before I started talking to him) but because none of the boys ‘were like him’ and because I had over 100 matches he proceeded to call me horrible names and walk out on me – this was also at 5am and again he woke me up. I have also recently found out he had asked my ex boyfriend for photos of me (a year before we even started talking!!) I feel so creeped out and disrespected.</span>

    I feel so incredibly sad for my unborn daughter and that she will probably never have a relationship with her father, I’m scared that I won’t be enough for her. I’m scared to be doing this alone and for what the future holds for the both of us. Equally I don’t trust him to look after her alone or even pick her up as he is always on drugs and his anger outbursts were like nothing I have seen before. I don’t believe he is capable to look after a child by himself and I do not feel comfortable with it. Has anybody ever been in a situation like this and can offer me some advice?

    #60210 Report


    Hi Miss070209, I’m one of the moderators here and I’m sorry to hear about your situation.

    I’m sure it won’t be long before you make contact with parents on the forum. Meanwhile, I think it would be good for you to call our helpline to talk your situation through.  It can be very busy, but it’s worth hanging on. Here’s the link: Helpline | Gingerbread

    Best wishes, Helen

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