A year on and I’m struggling

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    My husband left me and our 2 boys a year ago after having an affair. In the mean time my dad has been going having a bone marrow transplant due to having leukaemia. I feel like in the last 12 months I have put a plaster over my wound not fully dealt with it. My ex is now living with this woman and told the boys about her and my oldest seems to excited to meet her which is like a knife to the heart. The ex hasn’t helped me much in the last 12 months and has never really said sorry for what he had done. I feel I am over him because we weren’t happy howeber I feel I am not over the grief of him ruining this family and the implications. I am off work at the min and going to see a counsillor I just want to feel better. Has anyone gone through this?

    #36663 Report


    I can totally relate to what your saying – it was a year yday that my ex moved out. I am now a single mum to two kids that I have 95% of the time. I found out through my 6 year old daughter that her dads ‘flatmate’ is sharing his bed. I was furious, I’d questioned it with him before and told to stop being ridiculous, she was a flatmate no more. Now he’s agreed she’s his ‘new’ girlfriend as he has no way to deny it.
    it’s exhausting, he takes the path of least resistance and the path that means he is always in the best light. E.g. when I questioning about his new girlfriend, I was told there were issues in our kids upbringing including their sleeping in my room not their own. Er, not sure what the kids sleeping arrangements have with you having a girlfriend… He doesn’t pay regular maintenance but now after 10 months, he has finally agreed to have them overnight for every other weekend.

    on the dad front, my dad has also had cancer and died 2 weeks ago. It was such a shock, we knew it was in the coming months but weren’t expecting it now.
    I’m so pleased to hear you are going to a counsellor, I’ve been in weekly therapy for the last 10 months and it’s what’s kept me sane. As ridiculous as it sounds, I couldn’t have survived without – I work 4.5 days a week, I have a 3&6 year old, I’m grieving my dad and it’s just so much to deal with. I feel like my heads about to explode.

    my advise is be kind to yourself, look after yourself and give yourself time to get things done.

    good luck.

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