I couldn’t not reply to this. I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. My little boy is 18 months so I’m yet to have experienced this and I dread the day, I imagine I’ll be as heartbroken as you are now.
Take some time for yourself. Keep yourself busy and when or If you can’t, then let yourself feel what you feel. Its utter crap though.
My daughter is also away with her Dad for the week, 8 hours away, eek.
Last year was the first time and I was devastated, beside myself with worry. It does get easier and after 5 months of lockdown there was a teeny bit of me that thought ‘i need this break’. Don’t get me wrong, I’m missing her every second but wahoooo its me time for 7 days, I’m trying not to think, I’m blocking it out or I’ll end up having a panic attack. I’ve done baths, wine, chocolate, painted nails, more chocolate, face masks, more wine, repeat, repeat, repeat.
I guess you have to consider it a blessing that they do have a dad, however much they’ve hurt us, who takes them on holiday and wants a relationship with their child.
Try and plan to keep yourself occupied, magazunes, films, decorate a room.
Its a tricky one re contact as My ex also said not to contact her but it made it worse when she came home, she thought I hated her (shes autistic which made things tricky). This time, i made the rule that she needs to call me twice.