A selfish mother?

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  • #52237 Report


    I separated from my ex some 18 months ago now, since then she has continued to control and dictate how and when I see our Daughter, to start with this was always to be either at her house or that of my parents, once the Covid restrictions started these stopped (she was unwilling to all our Daughter to come to my house).

    I applied for a court order and that has been in place since September. My ex pushed for her to be named primary carer while I was asking for a joint custody order. Things worked ok for a while with us sharing responsibility for driving to each other houses for handover. As our Daughter lives with her most of the time and my ex is a teacher she has her for the majority of the holidays, however, she is now unwilling to drive to my house (20 min drive) to either drop off or pick up our Daughter during these holidays.

    There is nothing in our court order about who is responsible for transport etc.

    Am I barking up the wrong tree trying to get her to share the responsibility of driving? I know a 40 min round trip isn’t much in the grand scheme of things, but when I only have a 3hr contact on some days that’s a lot of time lost driving.


    #52243 Report



    I don’t think it’s worth arguing about transport. on the days you have 3 hours contact, I think you are better off staying in the local area, instead of taking child home. My kids live 20-30 mins away and I do all the pick-ups and drops.

    #52286 Report


    No one can really judge who’s selfish or not from the details you gave.Maybe she’s busy or tired,who knows? It is a shame you have to waste some of your contact time driving over but when parents fight about these things the kids always get hurt- makes everything worse for them,so sometimes it’s kinder just to zip it and get on with it.Even though it’s not fair.

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