A manipulative guardian
27 January 2019 at 11:10 am #20035
feeling depressed now….
my exs supervicer cancelled my children’s and thier fathers contact due to illness.
I received a text message from the supervisor and my ex exactly the same time. My ex sent the txt saying that the supervisor has cancelled therefore he wanted to request for his brother to supervise.
It has been discussed through the courts that it was not in agreement that the brother should supervise contact at any time.
I received a phone call from the children’s guardian at 5:20pm last Friday. Bearing in mind my children were tired, hungry and very argumentative. The guardian started to be polite then she ended up twisting my thoughts.
She said that the social services had said in court that my exs brother can supervise during contact. I corrected her and said there was no agreement by me or the social services that it should go ahead. She then said you misunderstood what I had said, the social services did not find any risks. Again, I said to the guardian I did not agree and there were no agreements in the court for the brother to supervise. I mentioned to her that however my ex’s best freind is in agreement of supervision why weren’t they asked.
The guardian then said I dont want to get involved with your issues between you and your ex. I am just phoning because I have organised to observe the contact (I was not aware of this) and I wanted to see if you agree with your ex’s brother supervising. I said no. She carried on and said ok he can see them next week. I said that depends on if the supervisor is free otherwise my ex will have to wait until next contact in three weeks. I said it was not my fault that the contact has been cancelled therefore I would assume next contact will be at the next booked date. The guardian agreed. I then said to the guardian it’s not like he will never see his children. Boom! The guardian became extremely protective of my ex. She said that I was not very helpful and that the courts will not see me being helpful. She then went on and said I will be writing your words down to the courts. What you have said is very unhelpful. THen she said good bye
I am very confused, I’m not sure exactly what I have said wrong. But now it has been turned around as that it is all my fault that the contact was cancelled.
A few points:
1 the guardian had asked my ex to text me. Through the courts on numerous occasions my ex is not allowed to text on my phone or email me unless it was an emergency with the chikdren
2 the guardian kept on telling me that I had misunderstood her on a couple of occasions. She spoke to me as though I was crazy. I felt undermined.
3 the guardian phoned at 5:20 in the evening when I had all four of my children. Not a good time to discuss last minute cancellation. This phone call was on Friday, contact was due the next day of yesterday on Saturday
4 the guardian told me she did not want to get involved between my ex and I and yet she phones me at a silly time during a high volume of energy with kids stating that my ex wants his brother to supervise
I spoke to the guardian in a very calm way throughout my conversation with her.
My questions are:
what can I do about this guardian. Do I now ignore her or what is there I can do to stop her speaking to me in such a way
She is due to see my eldest daughter next week, is it possible for me to say that she cannot see my daughter. After my phone call I have lost trust with this guardian and I do not want my child to get upset by her. My daughter is 12 years old. I am very concerned that the guardian will then twist my daughters thoughts.
Im really upset and angry at the same time. It feels as though the guardian has twisted my thoughts just because I said no to the brother not supervising.
I understand that this is a game that my ex is playing. But I need to understand where my authorities come into over the guardian. How much power do I have over the guardian??
please could someone advice.
Thank you. X