8 Yr Old Angry Son Worries

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  • #6628 Report

    Yoli
    Participant

    I have been a single Mum for over 4 years although I do now have a partner who has been living with me and my Son for 2 years now and we have a very happy and loving relationship which is a completely healthy and positive environment for my Son. My partner has a 5 year old Son who comes to stay with us every weekend and my Son will just simply not tolerate him. My Son suffered really badly when his Dad and I split up as they have a very strong bond and 4 years later and his behaviour is incredibly challenging. Being the Mum of am only child I don’t know what is normal behaviour and what isn’t…My Son went through an angry and aggressive year in school in year 1 but year 2 and 3 have been significantly better, however his behaviour at home is one extreme to the other and he has real bad mood swings/melt downs/tantrums. His Dad is more like a mate and he sees him quite a lot which is great but there don’t seem to be any boundaries or discipline in place. He struggles with changes, changes in routine and currently waiting to be assessed for Asperger Syndrome but we have now been waiting 2 years for this. In the mean time I thought I would put this out there to see if anyone else has any advice or experience relating to this as am getting increasingly worried especially after he tried to beat up his Stepbrother this Christmas over a disagreement I really could see him wanting to do some serious damage which really scared me and my partner is concerned that his Son will soon not want to come to stay with us because of my Son…It is as though he is trying to dominate him completely.  Any advice would be great my eyes and ears are waiting eagerly…thanks!

    #6651 Report

    Sherinam
    Participant

    With people who suffer from Asperger’s they like a routine and find it hard to socialise and make friends . My little girl is autistic so she  likes routines is very friendly and likes going out and is not bothered who is in and out of my house and welcomes everyone.

    Asperger’s  have melt downs,  get angry, become agggressive and lash out because they can’t communicate or control their feelings. Their brains are wired differently to ours

    I know you say you are waiting on diagnosis but as a parent you will have a gut feeling. I think you need to find out more about Asperger’s  so you can put yourself in your child’s shoes.

    You should be more worried and sympathetic   towards  your child not  what your partner thinks. I suggest you see if there are any groups that your doctor can suggest so that you understand that this illness is long term and won’t go away.  It’s about coping and managing this condition and how to handle your child.when he has a melt down

     

    #6656 Report

    Yoli
    Participant

    Yes I have heavily researched ASD and am seeing a therapist who specialises in it but he has not yet had a diagnosis so the inbetween stage is very difficult as at the same time I just wonder whether it is normal for 8 year old boys to go through this phase i.e. hormone surge and/or whether he is simply affected by the separation of his parents and/or whether it is regarding the fact that there are different rules at Dad’s than there are at home (can do and have what he likes at Dad’s) then doesn’t like the reality when he gets home…He is going through a very defiant stage and does not like being told what to do, am trying to give him options and allow him to make decisions but it doesn’t seem to make much difference. I know that he struggles with certain things such as too much noise, too many people, other children being over excited majes him 100 times worse. He does seem to struggle with big emotions also. I have various posters in his room ‘e emotions and we look at them and talk about them quite often. Now he is getting bigger it seems to be getting harder. Today he flipped out because I asked him to have either a small bath or shower…his choice…he simply did not want to and his attitude started to change so I sent him to his room to calm down and the first time ever he smashed up a 3d puzzle that me and my partner made for him, have never experienced this before, normally just stamps on the floor. I do and always have thought him as different but there has been very limiting support and having to wait over 2 years (due to the system in our area going through constant changes) is incredibly exhausting. I was advised he will be assessed this spring so I just hope the appointment comes through soon so that I finally know what am dealing with. His main struggles are socially, verbally and emotionally. He is pretty clever so academically he is above average, due to this the school are not really too bothered and after it taking over 2 years to settle in he is now well behaved in school and making the right choices rather than lashing out but home life is becoming increasingly difficult at the moment. I remain calm with him but there are consequences and today have re introduced a sticker reward chart…He is fine 1 on 1 but as soon as there are others about he plays up…am not sure why…I would have thought he would grown out of some things by now…but seemingly hasn’t…

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