I’m completely at the end of my tether. I’ve been having behavioural issues with my 7 year old on and off for about a year and they seem to be getting worse not better.
I’m a single mum, separated from his Dad when he was one but then went on to have a relationship/marriage that lasted 5 years and ended last year. I think it’s really affected him not having an older male role model in the house. His Dad has very different ideas on parenting to me as well. Though he sees him every fortnight for a weekend he is quite strict and a few weeks ago, removed him from his home (on his scheduled weekend) and dropped him here because he didn’t want to go to football club. That’s just one albeit extreme example of his Dad’s parenting.
My son is currently seeing the ‘feelings teacher’ (therapist at school) and has been for a few weeks but I have no idea how to deal with his angry outbursts. Right now he is lying on his bed kicking the wall after destroying my bedroom and his own. Because he didn’t want to clean his teeth, however I know its about more than that!
My parenting style is quite gentle but I lack a firmness he requires I think. I told him this evening (as I often do) if he didn’t carry out his jobs his technology time would be removed tomorrow. It doesn’t seem to bother him at the time, but tomorrow he’ll probably be full of remorse. Some incidents can be quite heartbreaking once they are over as he berates himself so much.
Please can anyone give me advice? I’ve been google searching and I’m feeling even worse as suggestions seem to be it is a poor home environment causing this. If it is I need to change!
Can only say a couple of things that ive found helpful. 1) no Youtube videos of “personalities”. Cartoons and whatnot seem ok but if he watches Youtubers they’re almost universally foolish to the extreme (to attract views from immature kids). I have no idea if your boy watches such things but my daughters are visibly better behaved after me banning several utterly stupid youtuber channels aimed directly at kids their age. Its surprising how much a child can absorb in a short time. 2) His anger sounds most likely caused by feeling abandoned, which leads to indignation (Why me?). Boys arent good with talking so maybe lighten things when talking about emotions-not trivialise, just inject a laugh here and there. Boy rarely are interested in the workings of the heart! We need to work emotions out but its just not gripping doing so!
Hope you can fathom out whats causing the trouble soon.
Thanks Keith. He doesn’t watch you tube and I’ve recently restricted their technology time to one hour per day, not even sure if that’s too much? They both (7 and 9 year old boys) both play Minecraft when on it. Thanks for your response
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