4 kids and pregnant need help!

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  • #40969 Report



    I have 4 children. 3 are with my ex husband and 1 with my narcissistic ex. I managed to pull out of our crap 3 year on/off relationship last December I was so proud of my self! Well I let loneliness get to me and we slept with eachother (one last time).. So I’ve found out yesterday that I’m pregnant.. I’m 28 and not financially stable and also live in a 2 bedroom property. I had an abortion last year and it really affected me with instant regret. I’ve told my ex and his reply is well at least you can’t move on now and no one will ever take you on with all that baggage while he’s out sleeping with everything 😔 I just don’t know what to do. I’m scared.

    #40975 Report


    No one can tell you or not to keep the baby. Would you like to get back with the ex? Why were you on and off? If you don’t want to get back with him, you need to draw a line under it all regardless of whether you keep the baby.

    Regarding housing, are you renting privately or from the council/housing association? How old are your kids?

    #41005 Report


    Hi Steph, for a start that just isn’t true! Children are not baggage so he clearly has no respect for himself or women. As long as children are well brought up as I’m sure yours are, there is no reason that would put all men off. I’m not denying it may not be for everyone but don’t write yourself off and get stuck in a relationship that is no good for you or the kids just because your scared you wont meet Mr Right, you have age on your side and have plenty of time for that to happen yet.

    #41017 Report


    Omg I hope ur ok I was in a similar situation.. but all to same dad!! We had 2 boys and spit up due to his lack of respect, going out drinking and doing drugs he’d come home as I was going to work!! His life remained the same where mine totally changed!!  So that’s why we split up then I did the same slept with him and got pregnant again I actually felt suicidal as I had two boys to look after on my own and I don’t carry well I had hyperemisis with all 3!! (Throw up 10x a day) it was awful as I felt like I couldn’t have an abortion but this wasn’t planned I think it’s so hard when not planned as my other two were!!! You are not alone!!! I was in a two bed with 3 kids also!! council was shite never got a house waiting for years luckily I’m now renting 3 bed off my aunt but is more expensive but needs must I couldn’t handle the lack of space anymore! So I feel ur pain it’s bad enough with 3 kids in a 2 bed!!! I felt trapped as it’s so expensive to rent!!! I’m hoping the council will pull there finger out for you surly they have to your so overcrowded!!! If your abortion affected you then do you feel more like your having the baby?? If so have baby, what’s one more to the mix!!! But you need to think is this what you really want!! Life is so hard and I really hope you come across somebody nice I’m in similar boat! I still love there dad but he’s a pain in the arse and untrustworthy!! Sometimes I wish someone would wisk me off my feet!!! fat chance of that unless he’s standing in bloody Aldi or Tesco !!  Always here for a chat xx

    #41337 Report

    Similar boat here. 4 kids with my first husband (who left me for another woman). Re-married to a narcissistic abusive man, had our son pretty much straight away. On/off relationship for the past year. I finally found the courage to walk away but a week later found out I was pregnant! So now I’m going through a messy separation, enduring daily verbal abuse whilst working, looking after 5 children and being pregnant.
    I won’t lie some days it’s hard work and very overwhelming, I don’t get much time to myself BUT I also love my children and am so proud of myself! I wouldn’t change it for the world x

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