3years trying for baby, now pregnant, he’s left

[Jadestar]

I’m 30 years old and suffered really bad problems with fertility for the past 3 years. I had to have a fibroid removed and nearly needed a hysterectomy last year.

My partner has a child from a one night stand with someone else, but he doesn’t bother with the child as he isn’t convinced it is his. When we argue he tends to bring him up or go and see him. He’s probably seen him 6 times in 4 years.

I fell pregnant in December, i couldn’t believe it finally happened. After everything i had been through.

Since then, my partner has told me to have an abortion at least 5 times, he’s threatened to make me lose the baby. He’s been out drinking at least 3 times a week, sometimes not coming home (before lockdown).

I came back to my parents before the lockdown was officially announced because he left me for the weekend again and went to his dad’s, he took all the food shopping i had brought out of spite because we argued.

We have argued non stop for the most part of me being here but not spoke since Thursday. On Wednesday he told me he doesn’t want me to come back and never wants to see me again unless it’s for his child. Thursday we had a short argument, i picked it to be honest..I am really struggling emotionally. I don’t want to bring this baby up alone, i keep thinking he might change when he sees them baby born. Am i being stupid? Should i message him?

[Sxj]

Jadestar that sounds so difficult for you! I hope you can keep yourself safe and healthy.

What would you tell a friend if they’d been treated like this? Obviously, you know your partner best – is this a one-off, is he trying to come to terms with it, or is this behaviour toward you ongoing? Saying he will make you loss the baby is really not acceptable behaviour. Have you told your parents the situation, what do they think? I’m sure they’ll have your best interests at heart and can give you an honest opinion.

I’m a single parent and its sometimes hard. But being in a relationship that is abusive and bringing up a child within that, is much harder – trust me. Would your family and friends support you if you were to single parent?

Also you might want to look up the Freedom course and just check the behaviours of your partner on there.

Stay safe and well.

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