3 year old asks why my partner isn’t her ‘daddy’

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    Looking for a bit of advice.

    My child’s father left when our daughter was 4 months old. He has been having 2 overnight stays with our child a week since she was 1/2 years old.
    I have been with my current partner a while now and we live together and are expecting our first baby come July. My daughter is so content and happy with our new family life, in a lovely home. She Is so accepting that she is going to be a big sister, however lately, she has been calling my partner ‘daddy’ quite happily and then directly asked him yesterday why he wasn’t her daddy.

    Im just looking advice as I don’t want her to be confused or become upset because he’s not. She is fully aware that she has a daddy that she sees twice a week however questions why my partner isn’t her dad. She’s currently very inquisitive but I want to go about it the right way without her becoming upset.

    many thanks

    #52234 Report


    Hi MamaH

    I’m by no means an expert on this, so can only offer my opinion on the matter. As you say, she’s already aware that her biological father is her daddy, and as long as you don’t encourage her addressing your boyfriend as dad, I think over time the realisation will sink in by itself.

    Maybe explain it in a way that enforces that your boyfriend can love and care for her in the same way as a dad does, but it doesn’t mean that he’s her dad. Just be honest with her, if she’s going to get upset about it, that’s going to happen unfortunately, but honesty is always best in the long run as it avoids confusion. Just because he’s not her dad, doesn’t mean he can’t be as close, and your children will have a bond the same as full siblings.


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