3 weeks to go and my partners left me

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  • #47133 Report

    Emilyh08
    Participant

    Not really sure what I’ve come on here for, other than maybe some reassurance from others in similar situations. I’ve been with my partner for 4 years, last Sunday he became emotional before leaving the house and then telling me he can’t do it. He’s left and he isn’t coming back, all he keeps saying is he can’t do it and he’s sorry. I’ve tried to give him space but then after speaking to him tonight, I tried to explore the reasons further thinking he was fearful and he stated it’s not that, he just can’t do it. He’s refusing to see me.

    I’m going to have to accept that, but I think the hardest thing now is that I feel like I’m rejecting my baby. We never wanted kids and I’ve struggled ‘bonding with bump’ throughout my pregnancy but now I just feel so overwhelmed. Like I’m going to be trapped forever, I’m so scared for my baby that not only doesn’t his dad want him but neither does his mum.

    I’m sorry this might seem extremely blunt and hard for some to read, but I’m trying to tell those around me and they keep telling me it’ll be different when he’s here.

    I suppose I just want to go into labour now, so I know how I’m going to feel about him. I can’t believe I’ve got to do this on my own. I’m due in 2 weeks and 3 days, I’m really worried about my mental state too. I just don’t know what to do.

    Thanks in advance x

    #47145 Report

    Thank you for posting on our forum. It shouldn’t be long before you get a response.

    It may be a good idea to speak to your midwife about your situation as she may be able to offer some support.

    There is also the Gingerbread Single Parent Helpline available for you to call and get advice.

    Freephone 0808 802 0925

    Opening hours are:

    Mondays 10am – 6pm   Tuesdays 10am – 4pm   Wednesdays  10am – 1pm and 5pm – 7pm    Fridays 10am – 4pm

    Lines can get busy and you may have to wait 20 minutes for your call to be answered but someone will be able to help you.

    #47148 Report

    Hey there,

    I just want to say, your feelings are completely valid! You are being realistic and said you will wait until your baby is born. I would definitely talk to your midwife, if they are someone you can open up to, if not then how about your doctor? I guess what I’m saying is, it’s possible that you can get support for how you are feeling and with support you may feel less overwhelmed and more able to bond with your baby. It’s also  possible that you may not bond with your baby and you may chose to ask for your baby to be adopted. This is absolutely your choice. It may be the right one for both of you.

    Please talk to a professional, be honest with them. I’m so very sorry that you have been let down by your partner.

    Take care 💜

     

    #47157 Report

    Jo33
    Participant

    Hi

    sorry to hear about what’s happened. I am in a similar situation, 3 years we tried for a baby due to my own complications, finally found out I was pregnant & due in a couple of weeks.  I was initially worried sick about a miscarriage which I imagine a lot of mothers to be are but also due to my health, I am more at risk.  Luckily there has not been any concerns/ complications  with my pregnancy but I found out at 7 month pregnant that my partner was cheating on me, with several different woman!
    I am still in absolute shock!
    I don’t feel that I have been able to enjoy any part of my pregnancy & like you, I am worried about bonding with my baby. How am I supposed to care & look after a baby when I feel so sad & upset?
    Everyone keeps saying that as soon as the baby is here, nothing else will matter but is someone going to cast a happiness spell on me?

    I have a wonderful family & friends that I know will support me but I feel that the baby is mine & my ex partners responsibility as we chose to have a baby!

    I feel I have no one to speak to at the minute, isolation can be very lonely & as much as people are there for me, no one wants to hear about my worries/ sadness a few days before Christmas.

    My expartner is begging for us to get back together but I know I would never be able to trust him again or forgive him for making me feel like I do.

    I believe he will support me with the baby, but I also don’t want to be too vulnerable around him! My confidence has hit rock bottom.

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