3 month old baby, useless partner

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  • #55451 Report


    I’m writing to see if anybody else has ever experienced the feelings I have. I have a 3 month old baby and I’ve been with my partner for 3 years. Since my daughter has been born I have never felt more alone, I was made redundant from my job and have an unfair dismissal claim ongoing. I currently have an ongoing statuary dispute with HMRC ongoing therefore I have not Received any income since March! This has put such a huge strain on the relationship however my partners mindset is..because he works and provides he can do whatever he wants!
    He doesn’t understand that looking after a baby is a lot harder than any full time job.

    I am sick of having the same conversations and feeling let down. I cannot remember the last time he made me feel special and loved.

    Currently in a really bad position. Do I stay and continue to be let down or do I become a single parent. I feel I cannot win and i feel pretty hopeless!

    #55455 Report



    i am sorry to hear about your situation it sounds awful. Have you tried counselling?
    Try and ask yourself did he ever love you? If you were not in the situation with HMRC would he have supported you more? I always try and say quitting is the easy way out but at times there is no other option. I am going through a similar situation where by I am currently pregnant and my partner is so awful too with the way he speaks to me. Quiet disrespectful so I have made up my mind I won’t put up with it maybe will look for someone who can love me for who I am.

    #55458 Report


    I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I had a pretty similar pregnancy, my partner was constantly going out with his friends and strolling in whenever he fancied! Still the same now, I still don’t think he realises he is a Dad!! The problem is he incapable of having a conversation so not a chance he would try counselling! I agree it sometimes is the easy way but why should we put up with being treated awful! Pregnancy and postnatal are the most emotional times, they don’t realise how their actions effect us. X

    #55492 Report


    Sounds like he’s restless and thinking only of himself. If he is unwilling to actually serve your relationship and meet your expectations as a stable Father, then maybe an ultimatum is needed….counselling or brief time apart. He could be analysing his feelings (fear, inadequacy etc.)  incorrectly after the new birth

    #55518 Report



    its possible you could be suffering from post natal depression. I don’t think you should make any rash decisions to get up and leave. Would recommend you and  your partner seek couples counselling.

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