25 wks pregnant, 3 year old son and found out husband has been cheating

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  • This topic has 5 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 4 weeks ago by DB23.
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  • #61880 Report


    On Wednesday last week I found out that my husband of 5 years (been together 14 years) has been cheating since February 2020. Our son is turning 3 soon and I am 25 weeks pregnant with our 2nd child. I am absolutely devasted and just don’t know what to do. I kicked him out of the house and he has been round to explain his side of things. It’s a strange situation in that he met someone on an online chat and then gave his number. They have messaged the whole 20months but have never actually met! He says he tried to end it numerous times but she would threaten to kill herself. The messages are intense – talk of marriage, wedding, babies and moving in together. He said some horrible comments about me which he said he used to protect me from her. The worst part is that he would send her pictures of our son and telling her our son will call her mum! He called both our children mistakes as we have supposedly been separated since 2019. He is adamant that in his mind he continued these conversations to protect his family from this bunny boiler but it just doesn’t make sense to me. I am so torn as I love him to pieces and want him to be involved in our children’s lives especially as I am due our 2nd in 4 months time. The thought of doing it all by myself terrifies me. I feel like I want to consider the possibility of us MAYBE working through this but feel that I need to make that decision before the baby is born as I would want him to be a part of it from the start and not when the baby is a year old for example. Has anyone had a similar experience and can provide guidance please?

    #61886 Report


    I have had similar but my husband ( now ex ) actually met this person in question ….

    I am so sorry to hear what your going through but I really think you should have a break and think this through properly and in your own time , trust is a huge thing in a relationship and I think he’s backpedaling to save your relationship, he’s talking about so many things here with this woman and making plans, their are many hurtful comments which are worse than him making the plans like your son calling her mummy, it’s so wrong on many levels and if he’s protecting you from her in saying all these things then why is he sending pictures of your son? That dosent protect either of you and puts him in danger if that was actually the case… I believe really that this is just a lie to cover his tracks , it would be hard on your own but it’s doable and you will have support, you will also have your own sanity.

    you will need to forgive all of the above to stay and be willing to trust him again, but all the above would have to be worked through first and it be honest and truthful, I am here anytime if you want to chat , biggest hugs xx

    #61897 Report


    Thank you so much for your message. Think my emotions are on a rollercoaster.  One minute I’m saying it’s over for good and the next minute I’m thinking maybe we can work on it. My fear is having this baby alone and then if we do eventually get back together I don’t want to regret that he wasn’t around. And I know it’s mad to think about him in all this but it’s so hard when you have loved someone for 14 years. We was a team and decided everything together and now I’m clueless

    #62386 Report


    If he’s done it once he will do it again.
    Do not believe a single word he is telling you.
    I’m sorry to be so blunt but he sounds awful!

    #62394 Report


    Sounds absolutely sick, glad you found out eventually what he’s really like and don’t let him manipulate you trust your instincts.

    #62396 Report


    So sorry you are going through this at such an emotional time. You need to look from the outside in. If it was a friend what would you tell them? Think about how you would feel if you stayed and if you go. Could you really accept this behaviour and get on or would it resurface down the line? Its a hard decision to make but you are stronger than you know and sometimes when its our kids who suffer that strenght takes over. I hope you have support from your friends and family. Do what is right for you. Your kids will be ok they have you xx

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