21 weeks pregnant with first child and partner walks out. Advice please.

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 19 total)
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  • #7110 Report

    Leafy
    Participant

    Hi. I’m 21 weeks pregnant with my first child and my partner walked out last Frday. It was very definitive and he said he wants nothing to do with me or our baby. I’m heart broken and feel very alone. I’m also worried as to what the future holds.

    If be so grateful to hear from anyone who has been through something similar, how you survived eta. It would be great to get any advice and support. Ideally I’d like to meet up with people in similar situations.

    All thoughts welcome. Thank you.

    #7128 Report

    Wayne
    Participant

    Hiya leafy.my ex walked out on me with my 1 year old daughter some time ago.i know it’s not the same as you are pregnant but you have to stay positive because you are going to be bringing a beautiful baby into this world.get out and go see friends.keep your mind occupied.dont give your ex the time of your thoughts.google online forums where people chat about all sorts and join in the conversation.keeping the mind occupied is what you need to do.i appreciate it’s easier said than done but time is a great healer and you will get there as I did.im always here if you want to chat

    #7129 Report

    Leafy
    Participant

    Thank you for writing back. I’m doing my best, everything just feels so hard. It’s going to be so difficult doing it on my own and no one dreams of this scenario. I know it sounds terribly selfish but I just keep thinking I’ll be alone for the rest of my life now. My child will always come first and as a single mum doing 100% of the child care how will I ever get out the house to meet a new person. I just feel very lonely.

    #7137 Report

    CastleDad
    Participant

    Leafy

    I know it is difficult and what you are seeing now is the immediate after effects of what your ex partner has done but you can do it and create a good life for yourself.

    You do need to ignore issues about new partners though for the near future otherwise you may just end up being in the same situation again and again. As one poster stated on another thread, some men spot vulnerability and use it for their own ends and if you show it to potential partners it will get you in even more difficulties.

    There are many success stories for single mothers and fathers. At times it will be a big struggle but that makes getting through it even more rewarding.

    There are many people on here and through the country who have faced similar and they came out of it with head held high and you can to.

    I wish you all the best

    #7279 Report

    mumtum
    Participant

    Hey

    I’m 35 weeks and about to be a lone parent. I have occasional pity parties for myself where I allow myself to cry. I moved back in with parents which is very hard but i’m about to get a house in a village with a good community feel. I have already been in touch with the childrens centre there and am going to a coffee meet. I’m also planning to set up a single parent meet up through ginger bread to help get me out of the house. There is support around.. you just need to start calling around, speak to midwife but i’ve found childrens centre to be most helpful.

    I’m hoping that will help me find another new single mum to share my house to help with bills too as ex isn’t contributing. I am running on hope a lot! Taking it day by day.

    #7283 Report

    jasmin3
    Participant

    Hi leafy, I’m so sorry to hear what’s happened. How are you managing? (stupid question ) I don’t have any advice as my partner has left me 3 months postpartum out of the blue. Maybe we can all support each other on this thread?

    Wayne and CastleDad what are your situations?

    #7285 Report

    Leafy
    Participant

    Thank you for the responses. I’m finding things very hard. Mumtum and jasmin3 where are you based? Maybe we can all help each other out? I’m so sorry to hear that you are both suffering to.

    #7286 Report

    jasmin3
    Participant

    I’m in South Wales. I can’t find ANYBODY local 🙁 I definitely think we can all support one another.

    #7306 Report

    mumtum
    Participant

    Im currently in North London but waiting to move into a house in Herts soon.

    I’m struggling to find others too. People don’t get it til they go through it.

     

    #7307 Report

    Leafy
    Participant

    I’m based in East London but work in North London. It’s a shame we can’t exchange details else I’d suggest we meet up for coffee mumtum.

    Jasmin3 I’m sure we can all offer support using this thread. What do you need?

    #7319 Report

    jasmin3
    Participant

    How is everyone feeling? I just feel lonely and I wonder how a man can do this..? How can I man just walk out on his family….? It goes against everything I believe in.  I don’t think I will ever understand.

    #7323 Report

    Leafy
    Participant

    I know what you mean. It makes no sense at all. Once it happens to you, you begin to realise how common it actually is, I’m at a loss to explain how these men can be so selfish. Has he agreed to still see his child and help with maintenance? Mine wants nothing to do with us EVER again. I’m slowly coming to terms with the fact that I’m doing this alone. Do you have a good set of friends and/or family around you who can support you?

    #7729 Report

    Natasha NGM
    Participant

    Hi Jasmin, what part of South Wales are you from? I’m from Newport and I am finding it hard on here connecting with local people

     

    #7732 Report

    Dawnsonsam
    Participant

    13 years ago I lived the same situation apart from my partner walked out on New Year’s Day just weeks after my first baby was born. I’m not going to lie it was one of the hardest times and I struggled to see how the future could be happy. I promise you, you will get through this it feels impossible now but in Time you will realise you can do this and life will bring you new happiness. I look back now and thank my lucky stars he left when he did! He left due to his own inadequacies not mine and I was saved the heart ache of a life with a partner that had nothing of value to bring to my life other than my child. Your bond with this baby will be like no other bond you have with another soul on this earth. Keep strong and work hard at looking forward to happy times.

    #7740 Report

    Leafy
    Participant

    Thank you Dawnsonsam. How did you manage in that first year? Did the father stay in the child’s life? If not, how did that affect them growing up? You say your first baby, does that mean you want on to meet someone else and have another. I just feel like there is no hope. Sorry for all the questions and thank you xx

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 19 total)

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