1st christmas as a single parent
21 November 2018 at 11:55 am #17999
I’m dreading this christmas, it’s my 1st as a single mammy, I’m not dreading because the daddy’s not here for it beacuse he always choose to work christmas night anyway but because christmas falls on a Tues which is one of his agreed nights so I’ll be spending christmas night on my own21 November 2018 at 12:14 pm #18000
This christmas will be my 4th as a single mum and it doesn’t get much easier, I still dread it. However, even if christmas falls on the ex’s day to have the children, on christmas he comes to us.
Can you not just ask him, seen as its your first christmas alone, to be flexible and still see the children, but at your home so that they are with both of you. In future years when its not his day, you can have the same arrangement, he can visit the children at yours. that way you’re both being reasonable and doing whats best for the children.21 November 2018 at 12:19 pm #18001
Then this is the time to have a very noisy Xmas day followed by an indulgent Christmas evening, doing things you like, after they have left.
A long pampering session or an evening with your mum or sisters? The chance to do some of your “thing” trying a new recipe or soaking in the bath with music on.
Mine leave on Boxing Day morning for five days, so I’m going to clear out the play room and fit a laminate floor.21 November 2018 at 12:45 pm #18005
New to this site, but I seen this and immediately thought I feel the same!
My husband left me in boxing day last year and I am dreading the feeling of not being good enough for my 2 this year. I know they will appreciate everything they get but I panic I won’t be able to fill the day with fun and laughter from start to finish.21 November 2018 at 1:16 pm #18011
I totally get you,
Its just me an my son, due to him living with his nan in the past, I offered hem a extra overnight over Christmas, because is younger brother lives with his nan and his mother will visit too. Putting my son first. Also means saving on a Christmas lunch and less washing up.
The thought off spending Christmas day alone makes me feel even more lonely, I have no family so no presents (violins play in the background) I joke but loneliness is not nice. I am planning to look for a homeless shelter to be able help in for the day, if weather nice might even take a drive to the forest or the coast for a nice walk.
Look at the positives your your son gets to spend Christmas with his dad and I am sure will get another Christmas on Boxing day, how special are you going to make Christmas ever, bet it will be the best one ever….
I hope it helps a little21 November 2018 at 1:19 pm #18012
I am sorry I disagree, Normality over ones personal preference is best. You idea is showing disrespect for the other partner, changing to suit ones own wants.
This way could turn into feud and only one really loose out are the children.21 November 2018 at 1:26 pm #18013
I wish I could show you the stuff me and my son have done with art from Hobby craft, and not expensive.
Unfortunately more families break up over the Christmas and new year period
Just a few ideas
Christmas treasure hunt.
Sure their presents will keep the occupied.
Throw the Brussels sprout competition.
make a ginger house.
It won’t need to be constant, I am sure you thinking about it already it will be giggles and fun all around.
Stick the tail on the reindeer21 November 2018 at 3:10 pm #18026
This is also my first Christmas as a single mum to my 10 month old daughter. Me and her dad didn’t have a good relationship (he would constantly cheat and control me). The day he walked out i was devastated as id done everything i could to keep my family together, im also 14 weeks pregnant with our second child and he knew i was pregnant when he walked out. Im dreading my first Christmas because he wants to be at my house with me and my child. I cant even look at him without feeling sick over everything he did to me. He breaks his own rules of contact and that hurts even more. Im not allowing him at my house im hoping to move just before Christmas so i have the safety that he dont know where i live (MARAC And Domestic abuse agency’s advised to move). I feel horrible about keeping his child from him but hes not been a part of her life, even when we lived together his friends and bleeding me dry was more important. Hes looked after his daughter for 2 hours in her whole life and he had to take her to his mums to change her as he didn’t want to. I dont know if im doing the right thing so support would be appreciated xx
Be strong Mumma you will get through it, we all will! xxx
Nicole x21 November 2018 at 3:25 pm #18027
Nicolelisa97 we will I am determined to for the kiddies…here’s to a merry Christmas 2018 single mum style!21 November 2018 at 3:26 pm #18028
Sorry Solomum we will not agree,
The saving lunch is humour, because you have to make light on a horrible situation.
My comment is meant to be about seeing a equal balance and the children and not putting our desires wants and needs first. Also showing respect to the other partner informant of the children no matter how hard it is.
Who mention in anyway it was an abusive controlling relationship?21 November 2018 at 5:19 pm #18029
It’s my first christmas as a single mum to my 10 month old. He is spending Xmas day with me but boxing day with his dad. I really wanted to spend our boys first christmas together but he refuses. Am I silly for wanting this?21 November 2018 at 5:42 pm #18030
Dommy I don’t think that’s wanting that. Wouldn’t it be wondwwond if ever parent could put their duffdiffere to one side for the children. When we live our children we always want the best for them.
I know it don’t feel it now but maybe it is for the best, you will be less stressed and less chance of a argument happening or both of you walking on eggshells shellss.
I am sure we all be told 10 month year old will love the wrapping paper and boxes, won’t really know what’s happening. So relax enjoy it, and remeber to give yourself a little time too21 November 2018 at 5:49 pm #18031
I personally think we as single parents don’t help ourselves, because we want the best for our children, and often worry out children will miss out, it is us that wants to buy big exspsive toys, we want Christmas to be even more special, because we are single parents, and we worry about our children and how they might suffer. End of the day they have us no matter what, so already lucky.