12 year old shutting down and I am worried sick.

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  • #17621 Report

    Nemeton
    Participant

    May be puberty as my D is 13 next month but she has stopped practising her viola and stopped eating breakfast and I suspect lunch too as she is so thin.

    She says she doesn’t know why she she is doing this.

    I insisted she eat something this morning but was shouted at and slapped. She chomped upon her metal spoon in defiance. I just left her to her turmoil. She hugged me at the gate with tears in her eyes. Nothing wrong or ‘don’t know is all she says to enquiry. But I am worried out of my mind.

    Is this puberty? How do I deal with it?

    #17625 Report

    TrevCarp
    Participant

     

    I don’t have any experience except an old partner had major issues with self harm and eating issues and anxiety. I am in no way saying she has any major issues, mat just be a bad day, and she knows you are worried.

    Does her school have assistance you can speak to?  to me it sound like you guys need extra help. I am sure she don’t even know all the emotions she is going through.

    You need to assist for help as soon as possible, even if its nothing, because help can take a while to be arranged.

     

    #17789 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    Hi,

    have you raised it with the school? Explain what has been happening to her form teacher. Does the school have a councillor?

    what is causing her distress? It doesn’t sound like general puberty to me. Bullying?  Has she not started her periods yet? Is that causing angst? Problems with friends?

    It may be time for some focused adult pampering together over Xmas. Nails, sight seeing, can you drive somewhere together. For some reason having a conversation while driving seems to work sometimes. Probably because you need to focus on something else. But if she is miserable, she is wanting you to ask her.

    Good luck

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