Hi, my son was diagnosed with autism a year ago and his dad still doesn’t believe it and has made no changes to make our son feel welcome in his home. I have tried to fix their relationship but my son refuses to spend time with his dad. We split when our son was a toddler and up to 2 years ago things were fine but that’s now all changed. We used to share custody (our own arrangement) but our son hasn’t spent 1 night at his dads for nearly a year. His dad pays me £15 a week to help support our son although today I have started a claim with CSM. My fear is court! He has threatened me before that if I go through CSM he would take me to court for custody and force our son to see him. Don’t get me wrong, he loves our son and our son loves him, he isn’t physically abusive but calls our son a baby and idiot if he gets upset or cant manage something. I’ve told him not to speak to our son like that but he says that I am just to soft with him and he needs to toughen up! If he takes me to court I have no idea how I would even pay for help. He is in a well paid job, owns 3 properties and has savings. I have just finished studying a degree (yep, mature student) and I am looking for work. If I do have to go to court, can the judge force our son to sleep at his dads? This is something our son would massively struggle with and would have a negative impact on his mental health. Im so scared now I have started the CSM claim as I know I am going to face a lot of verbal abusive via text message, and threats of court. I just feel that enough is enough. Our sons Dad is able to work full time, go away every weekend , have a relationship and have a social life. Due to our sons autism he isnt always able to attend school and stay the whole day in school, he cannot sleep alone and wants to be near me all day and night. The only work I can look for is working from home as our son starts high school in September and I have no idea how it will go. I just feel stuck, frustrated and scared so any advise would be greatly appreciated. Sorry for the essay!!
Hi love don’t worry yourself to much dad can take you to court it is very unlikely for them to give him custody as they tend to not want to upset a child’s needs especially when asd is involved.
Maybe look into respite see if you’re eligible for it this could help both of you to get the time you need to recharge but also help your son progress. My step daughter has autism and we have similar problems with her not wanting to stay etc
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