11year old Son sleeping with 3 other children in one room at his Dad's

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  • #32381 Report


    My 11year old son goes to his Dad’s once a month. He sleeps in a guest bed with his Dad’s other son who’s 7. It’s on 2 levels, and the younger one sometimes falls on top of my son and wakes him. A teenage girl ,15 also sleeps in the room and often has a friend sleeping over, the girls share s bed together. My son said they’re often on their phones Kate at night, so it must wake him to know that. I’ve asked his Dad if the girls could sleep on a sofa bed in the lounge when my son is there. The 15 year old us his partners daughter and she also has a bed at her Dad’s.

    My Son will soon be hitting puperty and I don’t think it’s right that he should be sharing a room with 2 teenage girls.

    I’ve asked his Dad and his partner if they can alter the sleeping arrangements when my Son is there. His Dad has asked me to stop messaging him about it and that I should seek legal advice.

    I don’t want all the stress of that, he took me to court when my Son was 4 which was very stressful.

    Can anyone help me with some advice please? Thankyou


    #32388 Report


    Not good!

    Id have a good talk to your son and let him lead.

    I think your boy has the power now to decide if he wants to go or not?

    Maybe if he asks to sleep on the settee? I would not have it, it’s not right ☺

    #32390 Report


    Agree, I’d let your son lead on this one. Suggest he sleeps on the sofa if he prefers or he could text you to go and get him.

    Give him with a sleeping bag or a cotton blanket if his dad won’t provide one,

    As he gets older he may not want to spend nights there at all which will be his choice.

    #32404 Report


    Thankyou for all the advice. His Dad lives £150 miles away, so I can’t be there to assess the situation. My son will be hitting puberty soon as nearly 12, so things do need to change.

    #32703 Report



    The NSPCC guidance is that children of opposite genders do not share a room after the eldest one turns 10.

    We had a similar experience as my daughter was sharing a room with an older, unrelated boy. He’s a sweet lad but it put both him and my daughter, both reaching puberty, in an uncomfortable position and she didn’t like going there as a result. They just both needed a little more space. I was advised by the school family support worker, who knew both families, to cease all over night contact until the sleeping arrangements were changed.

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